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5 Ways To Explain To Your Wife That You Caught Monkeypox

It’s happened. You’ve caught the Monkeypox. Blisters and bubbles are popping up all over your body, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re in trouble now, mister. She’s going to find out, and she’s not going to take it well either. You may have to stand firm in your resolve with a phrase…

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A Modest Proposal to Stop Climate Change

 By implementing the policies of the radical environmental left, president Joe Biden will become the transformative figure he believes he is. He will be the first prophet in humankind to cause the apocalypse he predicts. –  William L. Kovacs Predictions of apocalyptic events have been made since humankind created the calendar needed for assigning the…

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Woman Ends 20 Year Marriage Over Cobra Kai Differences

Los Angeles — A woman has ended her 20 year marriage with her husband over irreconcilable differences related to Cobra Kai. Cindy Longmont says her husband had never been passionate about film and television, but this series was too important to not be involved in. The looming High School Karate Tournament would be the most…

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ELECTION VICTORY: Libertarian Wins Spot On Neighborhood HOA Board

Colorado Springs — A major and historic Libertarian victory was decided this week when Steven Lowe, a member of the Libertarian Party of Colorado was elected as the Treasurer of his neighborhood HOA. Lowe attributes his victory to “not being a shitty neighbor.”  Lowe lives in a cul-de-sac of 17 homes. Neighbors were enthusiastic about…

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15,000th Grandma Accuses Andrew Cuomo of Killing Them

A sixth woman has now come forward to accuse New York Governor Andrew Cuomo of sexual harassment. But these are not the only accusations Cuomo is facing. A lesser known detail is that 15,000 elderly are dead in New York after COVID-19 patients were forced into nursing homes. Former Democrat Presidential Candidate and Spiritual Healer…

Libertarians: Movers, Shakers and Kingmakers in American Politics
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Libertarians: Movers, Shakers and Kingmakers in American Politics

We try to deny it. We like to consider ourselves a group of marginalized misfits. To relish the thought that we may embody the last remnants of the rebellious spirit from which this country was borne. Attacks from all sides for our principles of rugged individualism and personal freedom help us maintain the illusion that…

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NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF “CUTIES”

This week, Netflix took steps to squash the Right Wing Propaganda and Q-Anon Conspiracy Theories that members of their cast were in any way harmed or mistreated during the making of the French film “Cuties”. In a statement, Netflix put these rumors to rest by assuring audiences that no animals were harmed during the making…

Nicholas Sarwark Eats A Dick To Prove He’s Not Homophobic
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Nicholas Sarwark Eats A Dick To Prove He’s Not Homophobic

Outrage ensued at the Libertarian National Convention when Libertarian Party Chairman Nicholas Sarwark told a male delegate to “Eat a Dick.” People accused Sarwark of rampant homophobia, and he knew it was a situation he needed to make right. Sarwark consulted with the Libertarian Party Presidential Nominee Jo Jorgensen in hopes of correcting the issue….

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John Bolton Accepts Invitation To Join The Libertarian Party

The Libertarian Party, today, welcomed former National Security Advisor John Bolton into their ranks as a Lifetime member. Bolton has been conflicted, stating that he hopes Donald Trump would be a one-term President, while refuting he would support Joe Biden over Donald Trump. The Libertarian Party jumped at the opportunity to recruit a former high…