Front Page Satire

John Bolton Accepts Invitation To Join The Libertarian Party

The Libertarian Party, today, welcomed former National Security Advisor John Bolton into their ranks as a Lifetime member. Bolton has been conflicted, stating that he hopes Donald Trump would be a one-term President, while refuting he would support Joe Biden over Donald Trump.

The Libertarian Party jumped at the opportunity to recruit a former high ranking official into the party.

“It was an easy call,” said Party Chair Nicholas Sarwark, who extended the invitation. “He doesn’t like Trump and he doesn’t like Biden. He literally checks all of our boxes. We’d love to have him in a Libertarian Presidential Cabinet with his experience.”

Bolton was delighted to accept the invitation, stating he was excited to learn the intricacies of the Libertarian Party so he could influence it.

A member of the Libertarian Party National Committee spoke to The Libertarian Republic on the condition of anonymity:

“Libertarians fight all the time, and nobody agrees with everyone on everything. Foreign Policy is just a small part of the Libertarian Platform, and we’re not going to let some small difference like that preclude someone from the party. Besides, it’s an election year. We need the recognition, and quite frankly, the membership dues.”

Following Justin Amash’s announcement that he would not be seeking the Presidential nomination, it was secured by Jo Jorgensen. According to the anonymous LNC Member, this is just a rebuilding cycle. They’re already looking ahead to 2024.

“We have our sights on Mitt Romney,” they said.

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