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Kylie Jenner Comes Out as Chemtrail Truther
By: Laura Meyers It’s a good thing the Kardashians are pretty, or else I’d be worried. Kylie Jenner recently announced her support of the chemtrail conspiracy theory on Twitter. The conspiracy says that long-lasting trails left in the sky by high-flying aircraft are chemical or biological agents that are part of a deliberate plot by…
He Turned Me Into a Newt!
Quoting old movies is fun, particularly when they involve surreality. Government functions are almost entirely surreal, but quoting them is rarely fun … unless Trump is somehow involved. Love him or loathe him or something in between, he’s brought fun quotes back to self-governance. And with them come the witch hunts. There are ways to…
Beto Drops Out of Race, Vows to Retrieve Guns Lost in Boating Accidents
After months of campaigning, Robert Francis O’Rourke has dropped out of the race for President. When asked why, he responded with, “My campaign really just wasn’t on the up and up, so I have decided to take my efforts and go completely under. Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under to be exact.” When asked to clarify, Beto said…
Mom Takes Obama’s Advice On Thanksgiving, Talks To Family About Obamacare, Hilarity Ensues (VIDEO)
Michelle Obama urged families to discuss Obamacare during the holidays. “As you spend time with loved ones this holiday season, be sure to talk with them about what health care reform can mean to them,” she said. The First Lady encouraged people to bring their W2 tax forms or pay stubs in order to verify income…
Social Justice Warriors Need to Leave Our Beloved Characters Alone
Let’s get something straight: I think Idris Elba would make an awesome James Bond, I loved Daisy Ridley in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and I am not opposed to the premise of female Ghostbusters. I am not some alt-right reactionary who feels the need to take up intellectual arms in defense of white, heterosexual men….
Punishing Political Hypocrisy: An Outrageous Proposal
Why should we be surprised that the Covid-19 pandemic is the perfect situation for viewing political hypocrisy? It allows politicians to order us around using language couched in protecting our safety while hoping our actions keep the public space safe for them to do whatever they want “safely.” Gavin Newsom, Governor of California, is the…


