As the COVID-19 situation continues to persist in America, with much mystery still surrounding it, we at The Libertarian Republic spoke with virus expert John McAfee. We got some real and valuable answers to some very important questions.
John McAfee is the founder of McAfee Antivirus.
Read the interview below.
TLR: If the Coronavirus were a computer virus, how would it affect your computer?
MCAFEE: Oh Jesus… it’s hard to give a comedic answer to that because this whole thing is so overblown. I would have to say the Boot Sector Virus. It was the third computer virus to ever go around. I’d say that’s it, because it looks far worse than it is. It didn’t do any damage and it didn’t destroy anything. It just annoyed the shit out of people.
TLR: The Coronavirus has largely hurt the sex worker industry, especially with social distancing. If there were to be a Crypto-currency with the express purpose of paying sex workers, what would John McAfee call that Crypto-currency?
MCAFEE: The Booty Token. Or pink? Hundreds of good names there. Depending on your sexual orientation, you may not want The Booty Token. Maybe you’re into Thai ladyboys or something. But yeah, The Booty Token. I’m sticking with that.
TLR: You actually have history with Joe Exotic from the Netflix series The Tiger King. You both ran for President with the Libertarian Party in 2016. Joe Exotic did not poll high enough to make the debates. He’s probably got some unfinished business with you. In the spirit of such, would you be willing to fight Joe Exotic in a steel cage match on Pay-Per-View?
MCAFEE: Yes, provided he will fight one of my tigers beforehand. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I don’t remember Joe Exotic. I made the national debates. I actually came in third for the nomination. Isn’t that the weirdest thing for someone who has never been in politics before? In any case, Joe Exotic, yeah I’d fight him. I watched a little bit of that documentary; it’s way too damn long. He seems…. I could take him. Easy. Without a tiger. Easy.
TLR: With the Coronavirus, people are doing what they can to protect themselves and taking preventative measures. So to protect ourselves from the Coronavirus, how much cocaine should we be doing everyday?
MCAFEE: Well here’s something. Why don’t you guys look up smoking cigarettes and incidences of Coronavirus infections? It turns out according to one study that a non-Chinese person did, based on the Chinese profiles of those who got the virus, that cigarette smokers were 5x less likely to get infected than non smokers. So, I don’t know about cocaine, but if you throw some cigarettes in with it I’d say absolutely, cigarettes/cocaine as a method of protection work pretty damn well.
[As it turns out, there was a study conducted by New York University and the University of West Attica that found this]
TLR: With protecting our homes during these times; if John McAfee were to enter the home security sector and make McAfee Home Security, what kind of weapons options would be available with your package?
MCAFEE: Well, it depends on your home. Anyone who is as serious about protection as I am, and my wife Janice and my security team… Well, how wide are the doorways? What room are we in and how large is that room? In a room of decent size, 30ft by 25ft, give me a Benelli semi-auto shotgun, 12 gauge loaded with buckshot. If we’re in a hallway or something, give me 2 pistols; one for each hand. Make them both 9mm and or FN 5.7, and with the FN 5.7 I’d like the armor piercing bullets please. If I’m in my bedroom, give me a double barrelled sawed off shotgun. If I’m outside give me an AR-15 with a binary trigger. If you’ve never shot a gun with a binary trigger, good God is that fun. If you don’t know what that is, when you pull the trigger it fires. When you let the trigger go, it fires. You can rip some rounds with that sucker. I had in the Dominican Republic, after they let Janice and I out of jail several months ago, they confiscated the only AR-15 that I had with a binary trigger. Those pricks. I hope they shoot themselves accidentally with it. Give me the conditions and I’ll tell you which weapons. But you need an AR-15, you need a couple types of shotguns. You need a bunch of pistols. Everybody should have pistols of different calibers, and maybe even a revolver. I think that’s it. What else am I missing?
TLR: The only thing that we’re missing are Claymore mines on Roombas.
MCAFEE: You know what? Those are illegal in… most states. And most countries. But if you can get away with it, do so. But try to stay within the bounds of the law. For example, a binary trigger is in the bounds of the law in almost every country that allows long firearms.
TLR: The last question I have, and I previously brought this up in a previous interview when I rudely called you while you were at dinner; Antivirus the movie starring John McAfee as himself with Bruce Campbell. Fighting an army of Android robots with Artificial Intelligence that have been infected by a computer virus and have turned against the human race. Would you star as yourself alongside Bruce Campbell?
MCAFEE: Yeah, provided Bruce would let me have that awesome leather strap-on for the shotgun that went over his back. Where you reach over with one hand and pull that fucker out! I want that. If he’d let me have that, absolutely.