A parody weatherman lizard is running for the Chair of the Libertarian Party, dressed like James Weeks and surprising nobody. Dulap Nelson has been a lovable favorite online just by talking about sun-tanning buttholes, sky hippos, not being fed, and not being “the other guy” in a race largely dependent upon which Libertarian delegates can/will go to the Florida convention during a pandemic and after the government has shut down bars.
He may not be eligible for actually winning the election, given his species. However, donations to his “election” are largely going to charity, as his owner seems convinced that those who believe in liberty should practice what they speak when they say government welfare isn’t necessary… that it’s up to us to take the lead on kindness and compassion if nobody else seems interested.
And of course, Du is fun (and has much more personality than one would expect).
I hosted him at my house the other night, provided him with misters and watermelon, and interviewed him about his race and the day’s events. He forgot to wear his tie, yet still forgot it here, all the same… but dropped truth bombs about weather politics for an iguana – all the same.
How has your weather acumen prepared you for a role as chair?
Got patience to deal with sweaty buttholes n windbags
Do you believe your candidacy will pave the way for other non-human candidates for office?
Have not been fed
Have you ever met Stubbs the cat, mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska?
Du don’t go to places where butthole freezes off. That cat got frozen butthole
You’ve said some pretty bad things about your opponents. Who do you think is a bigger douchebag — Josh Smith or Mike Shipley?
You’ve made some threats about sky hippos. Would you promise as chair, not to poop on the podium?
CRAP ON PODIUM
How familiar are you with Robert’s Rules of Order?
WEATHER 4CAST 4U- is sunny toasted buttholes 2day
Have you been fed?
U don’t LISTEN
Tom Arnold wants to know… Why are you such a dud with the females?
WHAT U SAY TO DU???
Andrew Jewell wants to know… Why you let Blue steal Blue Chonky?
Blue a BITCHFLAP n gonna kill him
What is the weather currently like, and how concerned are you about climate change?
U don’t LISTEN. Climate gonna change tomorrow . Maybe rains, maybe sky cottons, maybe ur face
Charles Hall wants to know… Have you ever had doofer enhancement surgery?
Hope CHARLE doofers rot off 4 askin Du that
Kyle Nipp wants to know… What’s your take on the allegations against Joe Biden?
What he’s bitin? He stealin DU’s food? HE STEALIN DUS FOOD??????
What will you name your pony?
CAPTAIN Horseface McClappyFeet the 3rd
You may be tempted to write him off, but… remember… the year is 2020 and unfortunately anything seems possible, especially the absurd.