Fit Mom Strikes Back!
Maria Kang, the mother who received a hail of criticism for encouraging others to get healthy, finally issued a public statement on Facebook today.
She struck back at what she saw as bullying and seemed totally unapologetic for doing what she believes is the right thing for her and her family.
The Libertarian Republic wrote about this here: Should fat people feel ashamed of themselves?
Here response is here:
I’m alive! After the onslaught of last week’s media blitz and feeling like a punching bag from commenters, emailers and news/talk show hosts (won’t say who) I feel like I can still smile knowing that the many who got my message, truly received it. I do have to admit though. I have looked at this man to my right and asked “what is going on?” a few times. (thanks hunny for your support) Here’s what I believe is going on:
#1 There’s an accountability issue. There’s a lot of people with a lot of excuses – not only did McDonald’s make people fat, apparently I did also!
#2 There’s an entitlement issue – people believing that I can achieve something without doing anything (genetics) People don’t want to hear that it takes discipline, consistency and hard work to achieve a goal anymore.
#3 There’s a body shaming issue (my body). Apparently we have forgotten how different kinds of health looks like (since being overweight has become normalized)
#4 There’s a bullying issue. I think this word is so overused that we forgot that a bully attacks others? I posted my picture on MY fitness-oriented page. (I still feel the cyber punches from those who continuously attack me- ouch!)
#5 There’s a motherhood issue. We wear many hats as caretakers and often providers for our family. The stress to balance everything is great right now – but my point as a busy working mom of three is to make yourself a priority. You are a better mom when you take a little bit of time to be healthy. However your body physically manifests in the process of exercising and eating healthy is beautiful. (and it doesn’t have to look like mine)
I think it’s great to set a goal and work hard towards it. Good for her. However, when it takes on more of the attitude of: “look how much better I am than you.” It gets tiresome. Look, people should not be so sensitive and letting someone ruin your day because they are self-focused just isn’t a great way to live. There is no reason to go after her. She has made her choices, I’ll make mine, you make yours and we’ll live with the consequences.
However, would as many people view her “What’s your excuse?” positively if it was:
“What’s your excuse…for letting your marriage fail?”
“What’s your excuse…for not making more money?”
“What’s your excuse….for having children who get into trouble?”
“What’s your excuse….for not having a cleaner house?”
People make choices to affect all of these things. Why is her “What’s your excuse?” more socially acceptable?
What a judgmental hag. Burn in hell, bitch. Excuse? She has no idea what other people’s lives are like or what they’re going through. Someone should cut her up into pieces as an example to anyone else perpetuating self hatred. She’s not progress. She’s the result of someone not getting enough attention from either daddy or the men that gave her those kids.
Good God she looks like that after three kids! That women looks like she never had any
This woman should be extremely proud of herself. I know it’s now verboten to say so, but being fit and healthy is preferable to being overweight and gluttonous. Not only will you look better, but you’ll feel better as well.
She doesn’t have to post to positive message, but she shouldn’t cry foul when she posts an arrogant one and gets negative responses.
To achieve the level of fitness she has, she admitted in an interview spent between 2-5 hours per day working out. Who’s watching the kids?
Wrong..as a parent your #1 priority is your children and their welfare. The kids who scream bloody murder when they don’t get their way are the ones that have been coddled by the system we have where both parents give the kids over to day care or a sitter all day..come home after (or just prior) to putting them to bed and have virtually ignored them.
As to being overweight and unhealthy–nope, she doesn’t need to be–but that has be balanced around your children. To achieve her level of fitness, she admitted in an interview to spending 2-5 hours per day working out. You can be ‘fit’ in about 30-45 minutes per day using a variety of methods in your own home, without leaving. And, the beauty of that is you can split it up in to 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there, etc. It doesn’t have to be all at once.
My kids are teens, one about to graduate..and I sacrificed my relationship (and marriage) with them, and I’ve spend years trying to fix it–because of travel for work. I didn’t put them first, I put my job first—and I regret it every day.
I took up kayaking years ago and I practice DDP Yoga..
Nick, you’re right..I don’t go to the gym, because I don’t want to be around Hans und Franz..I don’t need to get ‘pumped up’…I don’t ‘pick things up and put them down’. I kayak and practice DDPYoga.
I’m assuming 8 hours of a day that she’s not working as ‘her’ day. 8 for work, and the other 8 sleeping..
Really, with commute times, and eating, it’s likely she has about 4 hours per day (if she’s sleeping the recommended 8 hours) and she’s admitted in an interview to spending 2-5 hours per day working out. So..for 5 days per week that’s somewhere between half and more than half of her ‘available’ day (which is what I should have said)
She admitted in an interview to spending 2-5 hours per day working out. If you look at your available time in a day—sleep 8 hours..work 8-9 hour–for 5 days a week, you’re already losing 2/3 of your day with your children. and, if you’re doing that 7 days a week; then losing 2-5 hours is losing 1/4 to 1/2 of your ‘available’ time to be with your family.
Being ‘fit’ at her level is narcissistic, unless you are single and have no family.
Didn’t she also struggle with bulimia? Her weight is an obsession.
Their excuse, is none of your’s or her’s business. Maybe some people think there is more to life than a fitness addiction and actually feel comfortable in their own skins.
She asked it on HER page. If people didn’t want to see it, or didn’t want to be involved in it, they could just as easily have moved on.
You look at living healthy as a “fitness addiction”? What planet are you from? I have never in my life heard someone make being healthy into some form of sickness.
And even though the two are not related, I am appalled to see a fellow RP supporter denigrate someone for choosing to live a healthy lifestyle. Maybe you missed it when Dr Paul said he could challenge (and win) in a bike riding contest with the other candidates. I guess he was just fat-shaming and had a fitness addiction right?
For Gods sake…
It’s my business when they make public comments, which they have. People do have a right to be fat and lazy, and people have a right to say it’s a stupid way to be, which it is. Obesity is a lethal epidemic, and that needs to be said. It’s not like the lady tracked down fat people and harassed them. She asked a legitimate question on her own website. Some angry fat people responded publicly, so I responded to them.
You know nothing about her. Her comment was neither rude or hateful, and her follow up message was even more positive.
Genetics have little to do with fitness, and her point was valid. Even more so now that we are being called on to subsidize the obese’s health care.
She didn’t put anyone down. You are simply trying to play white knight for the type of women who describe themselves as “curvy” when they are bordering on diabetic.
You obviously have no idea what it takes to be healthy. You do not need to spend half a day in the gym to achieve healthy results. You have no idea about her parenting skills, and have nothing whatsoever to base your accusations of poor parenting on.
What a childish and hate-filled post.
you clearly dont have a very good grasp on the concept of different opinions. everyone makes their own mistakes and if youre going to throw God into the equation be very aware that YOU are by absolutely no means God and you have absolutely no right to judge on Gods behalf
Who said her children come after her time at the gym? That is ridiculous, so because she’s a mother she isn’t entitled to go to the gym 30-60 minutes a day for stress relief and to be healthy? That is pretty harsh. So, you don’t get to go do something for yourself as a break from your “work” each day? I take it you stay there 24/7 and don’t leave? Because that is what motherhood is for stay at home moms. We are there for our kids all day, everyday. Does that mean we don’t get to do something to relieve our sanity? You are judging her parenting skills based on the fact that she’s healthy. You don’t know what kind of mother she is. As a matter-of-fact, I’m willing to lay money on a bet that her kids are probably well-parented. You know why, because this lady has her head on straight. She’s teaching her children how to live healthy, make difficult decisions that are best for them in this world where people choose what is easy over what is better and hard. She’s teaching them self-discipline, and other valuable lessons. Shame on all of you. She wasn’t attacking fat people. (And I’m fat, so I can say this) She was saying, I make the choice to take responsibility for my health, I didn’t let myself go. I don’t take the easy way out.
She spends 30mins to an hour a day in the gym.
Tell me how that is unreasonable or bad parenting? Stop hating on someone else to make yourself feel better.
It sounds an awful lot like YOU are the judgemental one.
No she didnt. Being fit is narcissistic? I have a feeling that it isn’t work that cost you your marriage, it is your constant judgemental attitude and a failure to take responsiblity for your own actions.
and what if those 2-5 hours are about HER while her children are occupied with other things?
2-5 hours of fitness can be involved with your kids. Taking them on bike-rides, walking, playing. She’s probably counting that time, and teaching her kids valuable lessons.
And if she didn’t want responses, she could have closed the comments.
I don’t look at healthy living as a fitness addiction, I look at it as a choice that no one has the right to put anyone down for. No matter if that choice is to have 0% body fat or to not care about it at all. In the case of this woman, she has turned her bulimia in to a fitness addiction. Her obsession with being thin and her hate of fat (people) has lead her to this.
I criticize her not for her lifestyle choice, but for her putting down and criticizing of others that don’t make the same choice she does.
I am not trying to play anything, but the same can be said about you…. you are just kissing this girls a$$ because you think she is hot.
She didn’t put anyone down. She runs a fitness site and made a statement that she is a mother of 3 young children and is in great shape as a motivating factor for people who frequent her site. That you were offended says much more about your insecurity than it does anything about her.
This is the same thing as if I ran a site dedicated to education, and made the statement, “I work full time and just got my degree, what’s your excuse?”
Its not a put down. It is motivation. Seeing it otherwise is willful sensitivity.
Your post however, in lapsing into an almost hysterical level of hyperbole shows much more clearly who has the “hate” issue. You have alluded to everything from her struggles with bulemia, to labeling her passion as “obsession”. YOU are the one struggling with hatred, not her.
Yup, and she expects everyone else to be obsessed as she is about their own weight.
I certainly do think she is hot. What does that have to do with anything? You have accused her of doing everything from obsessing to fat shaming to being a bad parent. Who here has the obvious sensitivity issues?
Show me one time where she has put anyone down. One.
I can show you at least 5 that you have attacked her however.
Your responses are childish and to be honest…odd. There is nothing hateful in any of her responses. Unfortunately the same cannot be said in your hysterical lashing out.
Please explain in either of your expert pseudo-psychological analysis, how this is an obsession?
When you have bulimia, it is an obsession. She also seems obsessed with using her kids as props for her photos.
“Had” bulemia. And it is a sickness, not an obsession. I see that factual data is not entirely important to you when you are attacking someone though.
Ah, and now taking photos of the young children who are the actual subject of the original post is another “obession” and using children as “props”.
I would be very interested in where you received your education in psychology.
Dude her “what’s your excuse” caption was bad enough, but her response was even worse. Most mothers of 3 do not have their own businesses, they are not in the business of fitness, they do not have a lot of money where they just built a nice new house for themselves, some do not have the support system she has and are single parents, do not have the luxury of creating their own hours so they can exercise before they go to work because they have to get their kids ready for school, don’t have the time to hit the gym right after work because they have to pick their kids up from school, don’t have the energy after working all day, cooking dinner, cleaning the house and doing laundry for their family. She acts like she has the most difficult schedule in the world because she has 3 kids and 2 jobs, but her jobs are non-jobs where she is her own boss as a blogger.
She is arrogant in her approach and her in-your-face non-apology apology just goes to show how shallow and obsessed with her appearance she is. Women grow up with this unrealistic expectation of beauty with airbrushed women like her gracing the covers of magazines and then shamed by these very same women for not having the routine and determination they do to maintain such a figure. Maybe I am being harsh calling her a shallow witch, but if the fitness shoes fit…
Bulimia is a sickness and not an obsession huh? Sounds like an excuse to me. And where does this sickness/obsession come from? A big part of it comes from airbrushed models that do not look even remotely close in real life as they do on the cover of magazines.
The fact that she had bulimia should make her sympathetic to the issue, but she has the opposite. Probably because she hated herself when she was a few pounds overweight and every time she looks at a slightly overweight person she is reminded of this, which is why she hates them. How about that for a psychoanalysis?
You are being more than harsh. You are being insanely, hysterically over-the-top.
There is absolutely nothing offensive in her post. NOTHING. This is exactly the same as running an education website and putting a pic up saying “I am a father and work a full time job, and I just got a degree, whats your excuse?”
It was meant as a motivator. Nothing more and nothing less. That you are CHOOSING to see it as anything but, and are reacting in the most juvenile way possible and bashing her character repeatedly says a lot more about your character than it does hers.
Fitness is not an “unrealistic expectation”. ANYONE can maintain a healthy weight with 30 minutes of physical activity and a reasonable diet. Apologists that want to make it out that being fat is ok are the ones at fault here, not the one trying to motivate people to make a healthy change in their lives.
Considering that she has given absolutely no indication of any hatred for ANYONE, I would say that your psychoanalysis is about as accurate as can be expected by someone with no education in the arena from behind a keyboard without actually meeting the person.
Bulemia IS a sickness. I am not sure where you are going with that one.
You however seem to have a deep-rooted hatred for good looking women who are fit. As I don’t know you, I wont even attempt to analyse that.
Motivator huh? Whatever you say.
For the record, yes, it would be just as bad if some dillhole posted a pic with their PhD from Harvard declaring “what’s your excuse?”
On an education site promoting ideas about how to achieve the education you desire…that would be a bad thing?
Sounds to me like you are just the overly sensitive type.
I love fit women actually, so, yeah…. you’re deep-rooted hatred analysis is way off.
But I also love curvy women too. I just don’t like people that attempt to shame others into doing what they think is the right thing. Just like I do not like bible thumpers who want to tell everyone they are going to burn in hell for not conforming to their beliefs.
I liken her comments to that make-up commercial with Kelly Le Brock with the line “Don’t hate me because I am beautiful”… guess what, people are going to hate because it is an arrogant thing to say, while also looking down your nose at those that can not achieve such an accomplishment. In her caption she is really saying “look at me, look at me, ain’t I awesome! You have no excuse to be as awesome as me! It only takes making fitness your number 1 priority!”
And don’t give me this “it only takes 30 minutes of physical activity a day BS”. It would take an uber healthy diet that most are not capable of doing and even then it would still take many women 30 years and they would still never achieve such results. In order to be as fit as this woman they have to make fitness their number 1 priority like she says she does. But like I said, most women don’t have that luxury because their 2 jobs are real jobs where they do not write blogs and actually have to work 40-60 hours a week PLUS do everything else that women have to do when they have 3 kids. Just wait until her kids get into having their own activities. Right now the oldest is what? 3. Wait til each one has soccer practices, baseball games, and other such extra-curricular activities that she would have to do if she did not have a support system with having a husband.
Oh but wait, I forgot,she will never have to attend any of her sons games if she didn’t want to, because as she says, fitness is her number 1 priority.
If you are going to quote me, don’t take it out of context and include the entire quote, which was:
“ANYONE can maintain a healthy weight with 30 minutes of physical activity and a reasonable diet.”
Which is absolutely true. To lose 1 measly pound a week you only need to create a 3500 calorie a week deficit. That is a whopping 500 less calories a day. 2 cokes. One cheesburger. Less than one honey-bun. That would equal out to 4lbs a month or 48lbs a year. And that is if you live a SEDENTARY lifestyle. If you add in 30 minutes of weight training or cardio daily you can shave off even less of a caloric restriction.
The reality is that barring extreme medical circumstances, of which we are talking about a fraction of a percentage of the population, ANYONE can maintain a healthy weight.
You are simply being an apologist for those too lazy to do it.
You not only lack a background in psychology, you also lack one in physiology and nutrition.
I repeat. No one needs more than 30 minutes a day of physical activity and a reasonable diet to reach a healthy weight. Your judgement of this woman is based upon a sum-zero of knowledge and a poor attitude to go along with it. No amount of posturing or hysterical name-calling on your part will make the reality any different.
Exactly! She has 3 VERY young children, with the oldest being 3 years old. Which means none of them have ANY extracurricular activities. Hell they do not even go to school yet so she does not have to worry about taking them to and from school before and after work. She does not have to worry about taking them to soccer practice, or go to any of their baseball games. She acts like since she has 3 kids and 2 jobs she is superwoman, but her kids are young enough to be taken care of all day by either the husband or a babysitter, and her 2 jobs are that of blogging. WOW! Color me not impressed. you want to compare that to another mother that has 3 kids that are all in their teens and she is working a full time job AND going to school full time and needs to spend her free time either taking care of the kids or studying?
She can be proud of what she has achieved, but don’t shame others and act like “if I can do it, you should be able to as well” when her 3 kids are toddlers and her 2 jobs are that as a self employed blogger and she has a husband to help with the load.
Alright, I had to delete everything I was typing, but after considering what you said about her target audience, you’re right. Her audience is full of people (mostly women) that struggle to shed pounds and find time to do what they want. Granted not everyone is in the same situation, but most people are in control of their situation and can/should make adjustments to suit their needs. Who she was directing the comment makes a world of difference.
Anyone going to her site just to complain was simply seeking to get butthurt. Me, I hate to see people get picked on and judged unfairly. Just because I count calories and workout doesn’t mean you or anyone else has to do what I do. Your life is your own and that was the position I was taking.
Wrong, wrong and wrong. She has 3 toddlers that do not
A. Go to school
B. Have any extracurricular activities
C. Can be taken care of all day by the husband
No school to take them to and from before and after work, no soccer practice to take them to after work and school, no nothing.
And her 2 jobs are non-jobs. She is a self-employed blogger in which she can make her own hours. Compare that to a mother of 3 teens that has a full time job and goes to school herself full time. Preparing meals, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, attending to her kids activities, going to their practices and games, and still finding time to have to study and do homework after all of that. Some people simply can not make fitness their number 1 priority like she has.
3 kids sound like a lot, but that is a far cry from having 3 that are in their teens, each with their own activities that a mother attends. 2 jobs also sounds like a lot, but when you are a freelance writer/blogger, that too is a far cry from working 2 jobs from 8am-4pm and again at 6pm-12am.
Simple as that. What are other mothers excuses? They have real jobs and 3 kids in their teen years AND they are a single parent. Those sound like pretty good excuses to me to not being able to make fitness their number 1 priority.
What an asinine response.
Saying that something is your #1 priority does not mean you exclude anything else. You are, once again and unsurprisingly, dipping into over-the-top hyperbole driven by your extreme sensitivity.
As a father of 4, 1 of whom is now a teenager, and one of whom is getting close, you are full of it. This is the same sorry excuse given by everyone who is unwilling to make changes in their diets.
In 2010, at my peak, I achieved my goal of 9% bodyfat while maintaining a bodyweight of 215lbs. This was not through genetics or an over abundance of available time. I work in the oil field, which is generally 96-104 hours per week for 2-3 weeks followed by 2-3 weeks at home. My wife also was very fit, despite having a full time job and raising 4 kids by herself 2 weeks at a time.
Your attitude was EXACTLY the point of her post. It does not take massive amounts of time, money or a specific set of skills. All it takes is willpower and determination, of which everyone is capable.
Again, you have a support system… your wife. Are you saying you can accomplish this as a single parent? If so, good for you, more power to you, but don’t shame others for not being able to.
I have less than 9% body fat, I do not work out andI eat whatever I want. I was blessed that way. Others are not so fortunate. I have the opposite problem, I can not keep the weight on unless I stuff my face 24-7. Sorry but genetics is a factor.
It’s not true. 30 minutes a day is not enough activity for those that are “a fatty”. A healthy diet helps, but you are expecting people to never indulge and live a totally different lifestyle. Who are we to judge? Whatever happened to judge not least ye be judged? Is there an asterisk to that I don’t know about that reads *unless they are a fatty, in which case judge away.
I repeat, no one should be judged by their appearance or their lifestyle, and no one should be shamed into being someone else. I am not judging this woman, I am calling her out for judging others and then crying foul when she catches heat for it. At any rate her 15 minutes of fame will be up soon and all of this will be forgotten.
I can say you are being overly sensitive saying I am name calling when all I called her was a shallow witch. Her number 1 priority should be her kids, plain and simple. I am not saying she neglects her kids, but they should take priority over hitting the gym.
And who cares if they are unhealthy? It is their choice. It is none of her business or any of yours either. She shamed others for being overweight and deserves to be shamed in return for judging others for not living up to her standard.
You are either lying or (and I suspect this much more) are simply not knowledgeable on bodyfat. I promise you that you are not sub 10% bodyfat without dialing in your macros precisely. Here is a link of what 9% bodyfat looks like.
***EDIT*** Apparently I cannot link. Look up “bodyfat percentages” in google images and look for some charts with varying bodyfat levels. Or if you dont want to, think the movie 300. Most of those individuals were hovering around 10%.
You may be thin, you may even be lean, but there has never been a man alive that reached less than 10% without precise macros and resistance training. This falls under the category of people who say “I have a 200lb Rottweiller”. No you don’t. You simply do not understand what a dogs bodyweight looks like.
Given the extreme amounts of misinformation you have given throughout this thread, you have absolutely zero knowledge on many things, some of which is fat loss, thermogenics, caloric restriction and protein synthesis.
Sure I have a support system. Could I have managed to work in 45 minutes a day in the gym and ate a reasonable protein rich diet without her? Yes. You seem to think that fitness requires slaving away for 12 hours a day in a gym or a massive team of supporters to prevent someone from eating a donut.
Once again, and slowly, it only requires dedication and willpower. That is it. No magic pills, no magic genetics, just a decision to stick with the exercise and the willpower to maintain a caloric deficit.
These are facts Eric. Not hypothesis, not fringe science. These are provable facts utilized every day by health conscience individuals in this country and around the world.
Just so I can be sure that we speak the same version of english, is calling someone a “shallow witch” NOT name calling?
What would you call it?
I wasn’t being sensitive at all. I was using a definition, and an accurate one at that.
Fine, have it your way Mr Sensitive, I called her a name. She is shallow, which is not name calling… and she looks, walks and smells like a witch. Just calling it as I see it is what I would call it.
I SEE THE FAT ASS HATERS ARE OUT IN FULL FORCE TODAY. LOL
Are you calling me a fat ass? I have like 0% body fat lol
She could have had a positive message with her story, instead she chose to point fingers instead of offering a helping hand. The message was one of shame and it is never okay to shame people, but it has become acceptable in our society to fat shame people and to judge them for their appearance.