Seriously, Pandas Are Freakin’ Scary
So I’m dressing up as a panda bear for Halloween. I did it last year, I’m doing it again this year. With big black circles painted around my eyes, and a big panda hood, a white furry bra, black fuzzy leg warmers, the whole deal. Okay, so I live in Los Angeles and I’m kind of a sexy panda bear (that’s a thing right?). But I’m serious about the fact that a panda costume is, in fact, a scary costume. Don’t believe me?
1. Pandas are bears, dude.
Seriously, though. They’re of the Ursidae family – that’s “bear” in Latin. Their family members include grizzly bears, polar bears, and brown bears. You know, that terrifying large bear that attacked Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall? Yeah, bears.
There’s a blog out there that lists some panda attacks, and they vary from wild to captive bears – because again, they’re freakin’ bears. In 2008, some idiot actually entered a panda enclosure at a zoo in southern China because he wanted to “cuddle” the animal. He was hospitalized from bites. Because IT’S A BEAR.