The Libertarian Republic Gives Up: We Couldn’t Figure Out Who Would Build The Roads
The TLR staff consulted experts across the nation on topics as diverse as economics, philosophy, and asphalt science before coming to this stunning conclusion.
“The simple fact is that without the guiding hand of government, private industry just cannot figure out how to make roads work,” said TLR Editor in Chief Austin Petersen. “One particularly stunning conclusion we made is that without government bureaucracy, it’s nearly impossible to determine whether harmonization between the grade of asphalt and toll costs will result in enough profit to attract private enterprise.”
“Therefore,” he continued, “We officially recognize that without government, no one is truly capable of building roads.”
Although it was found that in certain cases private enterprises can build side streets and neighborhood cul-de-sacs, the marginal return on investment actually became negative in cases where non-government entities attempted to create roads in more than half mile increments. Our studies showed that when businesses did attempt to create roads more than a mile in length, the local populace was 10,000% more likely to riot and burn local business to the ground.
Surprisingly, we also found that areas decimated by riots actually experienced long-term increased economic growth spurred by an increase in industries such as construction and window-making.
“Don’t even get us started on private bridges” added Petersen. “That’s an even bigger shitstorm.”