Tim Kaine Has The Most Unfitting Secret Service Codename Possible

By Blake Neff

Make way for the Daredevil.

The Daily Caller News Foundation has learned from a source that Democratic vice presidential pick Sen. Tim Kaine’s Secret Service codename, undisclosed until this point, is “Daredevil.”

The name is so ill-fitting it comes across as a deliberate self-parody. Kaine is famously moderate and hardly a bold risk-taker in anything at all. In the words of Al Gore, “Tim Kaine is so boring his Secret Service code name is ‘Tim Kaine.’” Beyond boring, Kaine is “milquetoast,” “a nice guy’s nice guy,” “generic,” and more. He’s personally against abortion, but won’t break ranks with his party over it. He supported the Trans-Pacific Partnership Thursday and opposed it by Saturday in order to line up with the party zeitgeist.

He responds to even the most cringeworthy Hillary Clinton joke with a laugh and enthusiastic hand-clapping.

His path to the nation’s second-highest office has been deeply mundane. Kaine started off on Richmond’s city council, then became it’s mayor. From there, he became lieutenant governor of Virginia, leveled up to governor four years later, and then finally became a senator in 2013. He has never occupied an office for more than four years, or for fewer than three.

In short, the typical person probably dares more devils before lunch than Kaine has in his whole life.

But on the other hand, Kaine was a lawyer before becoming a politician, just like Marvel’s Daredevil. So there’s that.

Send tips to blake@dailycallernewsfoundation.org.

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