Who Needs A Man When You Have Government?
NEW YORK, NY – Dr. Helen Smith’s book “Men on Strike” claims that men aren’t getting married as much anymore, likely because the penalties for getting married for them are so high. A 2012 Pew Research poll showed that the importance of marriage has gone up for women, but down for men.
READ: Government suing sperm donor for child support.
Dr. Smith says that men look at things on a cost/analysis basis and that the penalties for marriage are high and the rewards are low. Men have to pay alimony, child support and that they don’t have any reproductive rights.
Host Tucker Carlson agreed with her, but then posited that getting married is about “taking responsibility” and “manning up”. Dr. Smith countered, saying “What kind of man would take such a raw deal? I wouldn’t consider that a man.” She argued that men aren’t getting something just because they have a woman.
READ: When is it OK for a man to punch a woman?
Dr. Smith says that lower level women are making $17-23,000 dollars and they are using the government to take care of themselves, they don’t want a man. She thinks culture is telling men they are “no good” and that telling them to “man up” is part of the problem. She says we need to stop treating men like trash, especially if they don’t want to go to colleges where females dominate.
37 comments
Stop making BOYS feminine…bring back CHIVALRY and HONOR…but let them be MEN. Stop emasculating young boys by curbing their NATURAL desire for competition. STOP trying to make a gender-neutral society. Women and Men are of equal WORTH, but they are NOT equal…they are NOT identical.
don’t you think women who expect men to be chivalrous are entitled and holding a double standard as bad as ‘women shouldn’t have many sexual partners’.. everyone should turn a kind face to the people they come across in life, be polite, whatever, but to say men should just be chivalrous without women necessarily deserving it, again takes the power out of men’s hands..
I wasn’t saying women should “expect” it. I was saying that it shouldn’t be discouraged. Women shouldn’t perceive a man opening doors for them as a message that they are too weak to do it for themselves. I have literally heard that. “I don’t NEED a man to hold the door open, I am fully capable of doing it myself”
MY sons have been taught to open doors, pull out chairs, stand when a lady enters or leaves the room. I see nothing wrong with that.
anonymous. do we have to bring out the “Key and Lock” analogy?
It’s sexist, but rightfully so. With the ‘best interests of the child’ doctrine, a man needs to be damn sure that he’s the only one to impregnate a female. Otherwise he could be legally forced to finance the result of her infidelity, even if DNA tests clear him.
The idea of Chivalry is a left-over from pre-contraception days; for all you know, a woman could be pregnant or having mood fluctuations as a result of an abnormal menstrual cycle. (Endocrinological research has demonstrated that symptoms similar to maniac-depressive disorders in men are induced by the hormones responsible for the menstrual cycle. As ‘politically incorrect’ as it may be, a Male with these symptoms would be rightfully declared insane.)
Though such acts of men assisting a woman with manual tasks and holding back from fighting back physically, they are still social pleasantries.
interesting. especially the political incorrectness of saying women are hormonally imbalanced and therefore more emotional. usually politically incorrect is a synonym for, ‘so true it makes weak people uncomfortable’.. the biggest proponents against chivalry in my opinion are hardcore feminists, like you were saying, and i’ll admit i find myself holding doors for women and things, pulling out chairs, whatever, but only for women that appreciate it, which is most.. some people though, men and women, are just unhappy and generally stupid, and there-in lies the actual problem.. for an interesting look at the social dynamics and evolutionary wiring from ‘educated’ and ‘socially relevent’ men’s POV, check out the ‘mystery method’ or ‘tao of badass’.. books so right on about relationship dynamics and the predictability of men and women’s responses to each other in ‘dating scenarios’ will make you gag from the irony..
I have myself studied these myself.
Women want the “Bad-Boy” when they are at their most fertile. They want a “Nice Guy” when they are past that week of the cycle..(search for “Psychiatric Endocrinology” and you will find that the research supports what the PUA community says… To a Point.)
Vin DiCarlo is closest with his Pandora’s Box program; But the exact states they are in as a woman requires that you calibrate what archetype (between 3 of the nine).
Chivalry is ruined by feminists. I never knew what a feminist was until one day at the mall as I was entering I saw an older woman (I was 15, she was maybe 30) coming up behind me so I held the door open for her. This woman started yelling at me that she can open a door and did not need any help. Pathetic bitch.
that’s not an example of feminism, though. it’s an example of a bitch.
I think you are right. Men are portrayed as wimps in advertising and films. They are exposed to estrogen in the womb and who knows what. I really feel bad for them. Things are not on their side. Then you have the bitchy, hormonal wives…poor guys! I try not to do that to my wonderful manly husband. He is every bit the way a man should be.
are all TV show hosts that stupid? Is it a requirement these days to get those jobs to be a fucking door knob? ‘taking care of others is what makes you a man, that’s the only thing a man has?’ Who are all these freaks on TV?
You have to be a pussy-whipped knob goblin to get a job with cable news.
There are a few dynamics at work here – and I’ll add my 2
cents worth to see if I can’t flesh out some ideas:
1)
The age
old visceral wiring will always be in play: men want a girl, and sex, and
companionship – and even if their brain tells the “Danger Will Robinson” it’s
hard to over-ride the heart (and the little head). I know as a teen / young 20’s adult I was
ruled by those passions and no matter how we who are older are looking at
things, young folk often don’t take the long view (often, we didn’t when we
were young) and are always thinking they will be the plucky hero who defies the
odds.
2)
Countering that is the fact many young men have
seen what has happened to their fathers during the divorce, see how men are
portrayed on TV and the movies, are well aware of the blatant and your face
double standards for women in society and are very hand shy as to becoming
married.
3)
What is not taught to a lot (most) of young men
is how to recognize, deal with, and prepare for female tactics in
relationships. Shaming language (“you
need to man up / grow up”) is thrown at them when the WOMAN wants a commitment,
but if he wants it and she does not he’s a stalker, creepy, and clingy. Young men need to be taught what those are –
and how to disarm women from being able to use them. If men and women are to be equal partners
than having one using verbal manipulation and shaming language needs to be
stopped by educating young men on how to recognize those tactics and how to
point them out so as to disarm the party who uses them. (side note: men
manipulate too – just being fair here)
4)
Education is often geared towards women – and young
men are not idiots. What young men often
do not see as they have not yet had their awakening to the larger world and the
Machiavellian machinations of feminist jurisprudence and advocacy groups is how
rigged the system has become. What is
stereotypical girl behavior is rewarded, while the energy and hands on approach
of boys is sidelined or punished. Our
education system is being rigged to favor girls.
Right now (and it’s trending more so
towards) almost 60% of all incoming freshmen in colleges are women. Were that reversed it would be a topic of
national debate, but most people are not even aware. And there are entrenched federally and
university funded programs entirely tailored to get MORE women into college and
help them excel. The blatant double
standards are excused based on PC modeled ideology based on grievance.
5)
Most men are not even aware that the laws and
courts are so stacked against them.
a)
A boy gets
statutorily (or actually) raped and a child is the result, and he can be held
liable for 18 years + of child support, paid to his rapist, under the threat of
incarceration if he does not pay. The
only case where a person can be placed in jail for owing money is child support
– despite the Supreme Court ruling it illegal (Anti-Peonage Act) – as the
courts use legal tactics to side-step the law.
b)
In more than a few states if the wife cheats and
get pregnant she can force the former husband to pay child support for children
that are verifiably not his.
c)
Men have no reproductive rights. A woman, upon the birth of a child can simply
sign away her parental responsibility and have it described sympathetically as “the
hardest decision of my life” – the man who tries to do that is simply described
as a dead beat and hounded for money.
d)
Domestic Violence laws and the policy makers who
implement them are, in a very practical sense, set up to catch and punish
males, and not to convict women. There
are exceptions, but that’s what they are.
Try to find a local shelter in your area that accepts male victims of
DV. Good luck with that. Despite the fact they take state and federal
money, and gender discrimination is against the black letter (clearly spelled
out) law, men cannot get access to the very services they are funding.
While we as a society can see this problem – on the micro level it comes
down to the situation whereby no individual woman who can get away with having
her cake and eating it too is going to voluntarily give up her upper hand
advantages simply for “the greater good”.
“Women” are not the problem. There is
nothing genetically wrong with “women”.
The problem is that in any society where you tell one person of any
group (male or female / black or white or Hispanic / Christian, Jew, or Muslim)
that the rules will be applied differently to them if they claim [x], then the
bad apples in any group will claim [x] to justify their actions and practice
unfairness to their advantage. It’s
human nature.
In our society, for example, we know that boys have stereotypical
traits. Some good, some bad, and some a
mixed blessing. Recognizing those traits
we have plans in place to mold those young men and we set boundaries to curb
when those behaviors go outside what is acceptable. BUT – and THIS IS KEY – for girls and women
we can’t even discuss what is stereotypical bad female behavior without the
serious chance of retaliation, accusation of misogyny, and at great cost. If you can’t even discuss a bad behavior, how
can you possibly fix it.
Lastly,
there are feminist groups that make their living, literally, knowing that what
they advocate is open discrimination, all the while using the mechanism of
victim status, to keep men and women at each other’s throats so that they keep
the funding rolling in. Were there to be
parity and fairness their jobs (and the funding) would dry up and go away. They have a vested interest in keeping
unfairness in place.
Finally! Somebody speaks up. Men are told over and over that they are no good since they are boys. I for one, am sick and tired of feminism and PC.
Men who are married are healthier and live longer. (http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Mens_Health_Watch/2010/July/marriage-and-mens-health). Married men have the higher incomes than single men, married women and single women. (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/why-married-men-earn-more-213617840.html). I think the picture of whether it is “good” for them must at least be more complicated than this author seems to suggest.
There are so many things wrong with that statement. You are arguing a health related issue, NOT a legal standpoint.
Married men have more than “single” men because their fat and psychopathic wives haven’t stolen half of their hard earned stuff yet.
It may be true that married men live longer, but the cruel irony is that they are more eager to die. 🙂
Read ‘The Misandry Bubble’ and become enlightened. http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
Read ‘The Misandry Bubble’ and become enlightened. This article explains in detail how and why nasculinity is being rub out of our society. http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
There should be no legal protections or benefits associated with marriage. Private, religious or social contract between individuals. Problem solved. Dr. Helen Smith.
Dr. Smith’s assumption that the benefits of marriage as whatever the government doles out to you. This is turning the institution of marriage on its head and disregarding its historical and social role.
Women spend half their lives trying to change men into their ideals then bitch because suddenly he isn’t the man they fell in love with and married. Much safer to stay single and use condoms.
Don’t be a chump. Put it in her rump, pump and dump. Don’t bust your hump for a frump with a bump. It’s not yours anyway, so jump. You marry that chick, she’s gonna get plump. Shoulders slumped, fat leg stumps. 24/7, that flump is a grump. You work hard, but she don’t care. Your money is hers now, you don’t have a prayer. You were young, you were foolish, and now you’re ensnared. She had the affair, that produced your “heir,” that baby’s not yours but the courts don’t care. She’s fat, she’s entitled, she’s worthless, she votes. And you’re the bad guy, say the boys with no scrotes. They’re enablers, feminists, and white knight freaks; they wish it was their dicks between your fat ex’s cheeks. Just one last thing, I’ll make it quick, all you white knight freaks can suck my dick.
I’m getting a little tired of the family values scare tactics…Who cares? Human beings weren’t meant for monogamy. Don’t believe me? How many couples do you know that are actually happy with their relationship? I’ve only ever seen one in my entire life, and that’s great for them, but for the rest of us it’s not so simple. Infidelity is not at an all time high, it’s just being exposed at an all time high. Everybody has been fucking everybody for a long time now, don’t be jealous and skip the bullshit. Once you have kids, take care of them, be part of their life and provide for them as best you can, but don’t kid yourself into thinking you’ll be doing them any favors by forcing yourself to be miserable for their sake. They understand what’s going on a lot better than you think. Couples don’t raise great children, happy loving people raise great children, and if you’re miserable, you’re paving a path for your child to follow in your footsteps.
I absolutely agree with you! You can be happy with one person for a relationship forever, but you have to have your own friends and your own hobbies, and in many instances different sex partners. Look into the swinger lifestyle. I guarantee you that most people there are far more happy than the other miserable people that won’t let their spouse even look at a person of the opposite sex. And you most likely would be surprised at which neighbor of yours is a part of that lifestyle. I found out that several of my son’s parents belonged to a key club in the small town that we lived in when he was in middle school. They are the couples that have been married for 30 years now and their kids are happy and successful. Of course there will always be issues there,too, especially if you are using the lifestyle to fix your marriage.
I would like to think that most men 30+, were raised to be ‘chivalrous’. We hold open doors, stand when a woman approaches, give up our rain coats, bring flowers, protect them and all of the rest of these type things. I personally enjoy doing these things for women/people. Something inside me says this is the way I should treat people. These are the actions that make me feel “manly”.
Are these roles necessary? Typically we are stronger physically, logic driven, flat lined emotionally, and decisively ambivalent. I happen to believe that this is a combination of both nature and nurture. Since men and women are different I believe it would be in our best interest not to try to make everybody equal. Men and women are not equal, but by the same token neither is ‘above’ the other. Women should enjoy doing their feminine things and let men enjoy doing their masculine things. There will always be exceptions, but lets not make those exceptions the norm.
It isn’t that men aren’t incentives for men to “grow up,” rather there are many stronger disincentives for men to get married or even get into serious relationships. Increasingly it is getting dangerous to even associate with women, particularly intimately. If people are serious about changing that, rebalance the laws so divorce doesn’t equal ruin and that men don’t have to walk on legalistic eggshells around women.
men don’t want to get married because they are selfish. They get to
have casual sex with a variety of easy girls with no strings attached.
Men aren’t on strike they are playing in a playground. Women need to
close their legs and stop making it so easy for them to take advantage
of us. There is too much non-nonchalant hooking up with no commitments
or emotional connection behind it. Too much dating for numerous years
and wasting women’s good child bearing years and never get married. Then
they just find another young and dumb chick. This lady should be
ashamed of herself saying men are treated poorly when women are equally
if not more abused by the playboys most of the men have become. I am not
a misandrist- I have just seen it happen countless times to so many
close friends of mine, all ages, myself included. There are a lot of
toads out there and not enough princes. Watch 300- those were men. Strong, honor, pride, chivalry. Heaven Help this World when love is no longer present.
I think you proved her point wildly.
what was her point? Do you even know or are you just on your own team. Hope you don’t have a daughter dating in these crazy std filled, texting/sexting, no allegiance to anyone times (and my husband agrees with me). It is not a healthy world for the good girls who are looking for something serious. The men I have known to avoid commitment were purposefully being womanizers – bro’s before hoe’s. There are some scandalous women indeed but I feel they are outnumbered immensely by the men.
Her point was that men are treated like trash right from the beginning and you are perpetuating it. Sorry you missed it.
I didn’t miss it, I have heard this tune before. Guess we can make up more excuses for bad behavior. That is all anyone does these days and if you call a spade a spade you are being insensitive and not politically correct. Paying child support does not come out of marriage either. Usually the child appears before the vows. As far as men protecting their assets there are prenuptial agreements if need be – but this is moot because bottom line: the morals of society are not high in values. Just another facade to hide behind with a quitters attitude.
There aren’t excuses for bad behavior, just actions that caused them. Cause and effect. And like I said, you are perpetuating them. Nice dig, btw.
You ever notice when they say “Man Up”, it’s always followed by them telling you what to do? It’s always Man Up and do what I say… Mackian ♪♫ ♪♫ ☼
I don’t listen to what women say, I just nod and pretend to be interested in what they say.
Internet Porn! How can one girl the rest of your life be any fun. They cant compare to all them online. Real girls dont do half the things they do and act like prudes. Marriage is for suckas!
i think you just proved MY point wildly. Whatever the “cause” is lets hope the effect can be fixed. Women aren’t another toy to be had, I understand being young and sewing your wild oats but see where that lifestyle and internet porn gets you in your old age. Its a void.
Marriage is all about happiness, if you aren’t happy you got married for the wrong reasons. If you are happy anything anyone else says here doesn’t matter 🙂
Have a nice day!