What the Men’s Rights Movement Gets Right– And Wrong

As a critic of feminism, I’ve checked out the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM). Some things I like, some things not so much. They have good points when it comes to divorce, custody, and how courts are biased towards women. These are real equality issues that need to be addressed.

Also, I dislike how men have become the punch line in today’s society. Just check out commercials and sitcoms. The husbands are portrayed as complete idiots with the maturity of five year olds. The wives, on the other hand, are brilliant personality-less parental figures to their dumb husbands.

One of my pet peeves is how it’s somehow acceptable to insult your husband in public. Haha, I don’t know how he dresses himself in the morning! It’s laughable when a woman does it. The other way around? That wouldn’t fly!

Then I check out Men’s Rights Activists forums… oh boy. I acknowledge that not every comment represents the whole movement, of course. But there’s a significant amount of: women are gold digging you-know-whats! Marriage is always a bad deal for men because women are lazy moochers! Women wear makeup to trick you into procreating with them!!  THEY ARE LIARS!

Whoa….

It just reminds of man-hating feminists who talk about all men being cheating scumbags and implying that all men are rapists. Both of these groups have clearly been burnt by the opposite sex. What heterosexual person hasn’t been? They’re taking it to an unhealthy place and blaming an entire gender for crappy things someone did.

Julia Tourianski recently made a well-balanced video about MRA’s. She took some heat for it. Judging from the YouTube comments, the most controversial part of her video was when she talked about domestic violence.

Now, many MRAs will say that there is a double standard in our society when it comes to violence. A woman can hit a man, but a man can’t hit back or he’ll get in trouble.

Let me dig into that one….

Is it ever acceptable for a man to hit a woman? Some people will say never, ever, it’s never okay, no matter what. Eh. My answer–which is the same if you asked me if it’s ever acceptable for anyone to hit anyone— is yes, for self-defense.

I’m very pro self-defense. If a woman has the potential to do real damage– then yeah, you got to do what you got to do to protect yourself. If she’s coming at you with a knife or a frying pan, then, clearly. Fight back.

But self defense should also include common sense and examining the threat.

I fully acknowledge that there are women who, in the heat of the argument, will push and slap and try to provoke the situation. This is beyond stupid and she’s wrong for doing so. Seriously. Stop that.

Is it acceptable for a man to hit a woman in that situation?

Some MRAs will say that a man has every right–and should– hit back.

Common sense says no.

Once again, examining the threat. In most cases, the man is not physically threatened. Unless your girlfriend is Ronda Rousey or something. Since men tend to be stronger than women, punching her would be an excessive use of force. Way overkill.

There are much better ways to handle the situation. Restraining her would be one until she calms down. Also, that doesn’t mean that the woman should face no consequences for her actions. How about dumping her? Separation? Requiring that she gets anger management to continue the relationship? Really reevaluate if this is is someone that you want to be with if they resort to violence when they’re angry. ‘Cause that’s not part of a healthy relationship or person.

I’m still making my mind up on the Men’s Rights Movement. We’ll see.