Arlington Fines Potty Mouthers, So Here Are Some Alternative Swear Words

By: Laura Meyers

If you can’t say anything nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all. Especially if you’re in Virginia and you want to keep your money.

The Arlington, Virginia Police Department recently adopted the new city code, which simply enforces the state-wide ban on curse words in public, making the offense a Code 4 misdemeanor. The fine for using colorful language could cost up to $250.

City officials say the code is necessary after the police department reported making 664 arrests for public inebriation and potty mouthers in 2014.

The Washingtonian reports:

Arlingtonians who don’t want to replace their bawdy slang with namby-pamby minced oaths can go elsewhere in the region. While the District bans abusive language designed to provoke a physical response from another individual, it does not prohibit casual profanity. Maryland also offers safe harbor to the salty-tongued, except for Rockville, where the city charter reads, “person may not profanely curse and swear or use obscene language upon or near any street, sidewalk or highway within the hearing of persons passing by, upon or along such street, sidewalk or highway.”

In the meantime, here’s a list of 140 alternative words to use instead of cuss words if you don’t want to be fined out your arse by the state:

1. #@%!
2. Arse
3. Batask
4. Bologna
5. Beeotch
6. Bullspit
7. Burn/Burned
8. Booty
9. Bum
10. Bummer
11. Balderdash
12. Blangdang
13. Blankety-blank
14. Blast/Blasted
15. Bleep/Bleepin
16. Bloomin
17. Blow(s)
18. Bite(s)
19. Brat/Bratty
20. Cheese and Crackers
21. Cheese and Rice
22. Cheeses
23. Cheesitz
24. Chit
25. Chafed
26. Chaps
27. Crud
28. Crabcakes
29. Crabby
30. Crapola
31. Crappity
32. Crimeny
33. Dastardly
34. Dipstick
35. Doggone
36. Dump truck
37. Darn/Darnit
38. Dag Gummit
39. Dag Nabit
40. Dang/Dangit
41. Drat
42. Eff/Effin
43. Egad
44. Flip/Flippin
45. Fudge
46. Farging
47. Fiddle Sticks
48. Freak/Freaking
49. Frack/Fracking
50. Frazzle-rackin
51. Frig/Friggin
52. Frick/Fricking
53. Fragdaggle
54. Flunkin’
55. Gobbledygook
56. Goodness
57. Good Grief
58. Good Gravy
59. Gosh
60. Garsh
61. God Bless America
62. Gul Durnit
63. Gobb Dash it
64. Gadzooks
65. Heck
66. H-E-double hockey sticks
67. Hay (what the hay)
68. Hogwash
69. Holy Cow
70. Holy Frijoles
71. Holy Shibblets
72. Horse Pucky
73. Holy Mother
74. Hockey Puck
75. Huffy
76. Hush
77. Ice hole (farging-ice hole)
78. Jeez
79. Jiminy Crickits
80. Judas Priest
81. Kawabunga
82. Lint Licker
83. Malarkey
84. Man/Oh Man
85. Monkey Flunker
86. Mother of Pearl
87. Mother Fathers
88. Mothersmucker
89. Mother blanker
90. My Word
91. Nuckin Futs
92. OMGsh
93. Pete’s Sake
94. Piddle
95. Pluck it
96. Poo/Poop/Poopy
97. Peeves/Peeved
98. Rice cakes
99. Hopping
100. Ram Rod
101. Rackafratz
102. Rassa-frazzin
103. Shush
104. Snassa-frazzin
105. Sunny Beach
106. Snit
107. Snitch
108. Steaming
109. Shiatsu
110. Sheesh
111. Shitaki mushrooms
112. Swear to Christmas
113. Stuff yourself
114. Shoot
115. Snap
116. Shat
117. Shut The Front Door
118. Son of a Mother Trucker
119. Sheesh
120. Shnikes
121. Shiznit
122. Shucks
123. Son of a Gun
124. Son of a Mother
125. Son of a biscuit eater
126. Sons a’ Guns
127. Sufferin Succotash
128. Sucks
129. Stinks
130. Sunny Beach
131. Shamalama
132. Ticked (off)
133. Tater Sauce
134. Troll
135. Tool
136. What-the
137. Weenie
138. Who-ha
139. Wu-wu
140. Witch

And here’s how they should be used.