Political Comedy

The 7 Reasons I Quit Being a Libertarian

#7. I really don’t prefer a paleo diet.

I’m not a vegetarian or anything, but what the hell is wrong with these people? They eat two pounds of bacon for breakfast, call it health food, and chase it down with buttered coffee. Buttered coffee! Their digestive tracts are like dairy farm slaughterhouses. Stop eating all that meat and cheese. You are going to die. No one should eat as much bacon as libertarians do. Eat an apple every once in a while; there is no such thing as freedom from a coronary.

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