by Jennifer Giorgi
Follow Jennifer on Twitter @jejoagio
This election cycle is entertaining if nothing else. With two of the most hated nominees ever put forward by the two major parties, it is no wonder third party and independent candidates are getting much more attention than normal. There are a few stubborn ol’ mules who refuse to budge. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.
1. Tell them why their candidate is flawed.
We are now over a year into mess that is this election season. People have invested a lot of emotional and mental energy on their candidates. It almost doesn’t matter what any candidate is accused of at this point. Many are SO INVESTED and their mind is so completely made up that they could be a serious contender in the next Olympics with the mental gymnastics they must perform to stick up for their candidate – regardless of the argument one could make against their decision.
2. Tell them why their biggest adversary is also flawed.
Major party supporters are used to getting bashed for their decisions by now. What they aren’t used to is someone moving on from bashing their candidate to bashing their candidates’ main adversary. This makes some people happy to talk about. They have spent months memorizing things to say when someone pokes holes in their logic of who they believe would be the most fit to be the leader of the free world. Once you join in on discussing why their adversary would also not make a good leader, they become excited, perplexed, and angry all at once. It is really fun to watch happen.
3. Tell them you are voting third party.
They might have figured this is where you were headed by now, but if they haven’t, throw this at them and listen for a series of grunts and mostly incoherent babble. They might appear to believe they have bested you as they throw all kinds of arguments about why voting third party is a joke and a waste of time.
4. Remind them of Abe Lincoln.
This is particularly effective in evoking anger if you aren’t having this discussion south of the Mason-Dixon line or near any anarcho-capitalist conferences.
5. Use logic to explain how your vote for a third party isn’t wasted.
How many of you have a “third party is a wasted vote” reaction meme folder on your phone?
John Quincy Adams once said, “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.” Aside from that very poignant point, we have all explained the electoral college ad nauseum, how even if we didn’t have a horse in the race we would not vote for one of the two other clowns regardless, and how math works. Don’t forget what you’ve learned.
6. Use logic in general.
A large portion of their arguments aren’t going to make sense. They will employ ad hominem attacks, slippery slope arguments, “no true Scotsman…” pleas… the list goes on and on. Keep an eye out for logical fallacies. Know how to identify and how to defeat them.
7. Correct them about Ross Perot.
This specific point plays in to the “wasted vote” category as well as “a vote for X is really a vote for Y!” The funny thing is, in this case, it is employed by both sides. “But Ross Perot cost Bush 41 the election in ’92!” they exclaim. False. This myth has been debunked many times. There are a ton of articles out there. Did Perot garner a ton of support and gather a ton of votes? Yes. There is no evidence that support was pulled from one side or the other.
8. Tell them what your favorite federal agency (aside from the IRS) to abolish would be.
If none of the following methods worked, this one is almost certain to work. This isn’t something which the supporters of the two major parties ever put much thought into because, well, they are busy planning out new and exciting ways to expand government and waste more of the taxpayers’ money. If nothing else, use this method when you have an urge to yell out “MUH ROADS!” because the counterarguments will be reduced to “but who will pay for/take care of/ensure….” etc. All roads lead to…well, roads.
9. Inform them that taxation is theft.
And just when they can’t take it any more and are about to bow out of the argument, hit ’em with a good ol’ “TAXATION IS THEFT!” for good measure. Plant the seeds of liberty one proverbial exploding head at a time.