by Ian Tartt
1. A Gun
The great equalizer, a gun can easily stop even the most determined clown. Only a fool would continue to engage once a gun is drawn on them, and…well those clowns are already foolish to be doing what they’re doing, so maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words. Either way, a gun in their face will make sure those clowns don’t get the last laugh.
2. A Giant Hammer
What could be more satisfying that beating a clown at its own game? Harley Quinn is known to carry a giant hammer, so playing Whack-A-Clown is the ultimate poetic justice. Sure, it might be a little heavy, but that can easily be solved by keeping it in the trunk until it’s needed. Then, if all other defenses have failed, the hammer should guarantee that there won’t be a second act.
3. Batman
The Joker is one of the most famous clowns, and Batman is his greatest enemy. Although he sometimes works with the police, Batman more often than not uses his superior intellect, fighting skills, and equipment to stop criminals. Seeing Batman standing before them will strike fear into the heart of any clown. Bonus points if the clown is dressed as the Joker.
4. A Taser
Some clowns use hand buzzers to bring a little extra surprise to parties. With that in mind, why not give them a full-body surprise with a taser? Tasers generally don’t cause fatal or lifelong injuries, and they can temporarily incapacitate a clown so an escape can be made or more weapons can be obtained. When a taser is used, most clowns won’t be able to avoid lying down on the job.
5. A Knife
Knives have long been used by clowns as both objects of amusement (as with juggling knives) and as objects of terror. This makes them yet another weapon of poetic justice to use against a creepy clown. Without a great deal of skill in throwing knives, they have the disadvantage of being used up-close. But, as a last resort, a knife can allow you to escape while leaving the clown in stitches.