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 What lies below the cold ground that could stop such a mighty machine?

SEATTLE, WA – The world’s largest boring machine ground to a halt after striking a mysterious object of unknown origin that is lurking underground. Speculation about the object has run rampant, causing people to believe that the object could be an Ice Age-era boulder, or a pioneer-era rail car.

The $80 million, five-story tall machine named “Bertha” was supposed to be drilling a new two-mile tunnel for Highway 99. Bertha’s boulder-busting was forced to shut down however when she was unable to break through an object at the 1,000 foot marker.

Some people thought it was dinosaur bones, or an ancient pyramid left by aliens. Others thought it may have been a huge wad of already chewed bubblegum.

Still, the best guess may be that it’s a probably a part of a glacier erratic, which is a rock that differs in size or shape from the native rocks around it.

Transportation Department engineers and the Seattle Tunnel Partners contracting team are working to figure out what the object is, and are said to be considering drilling 60 feet down into the object from above.

“We don’t know whether it is man-made or natural,” a WSDOT official told the Seattle Times.

About The Author

Austin Petersen

Austin Petersen is the founder of The Libertarian Republic, as well as the CEO of Stonegait LLC. Formerly an Associate Producer for Judge Andrew Napolitano's show "Freedom Watch", on the Fox Business Network. Austin was referred to by the Judge as "The right side of my brain". He built Judge Napolitano's social networks with over 700,000 fans and millions of clicks a month. Austin graduated from Missouri State University. He has written and produced award winning plays and videos, and previously worked for the Libertarian National Committee and the Atlas Economic Research Foundation.

14 Responses


    Alex Jones, Joe Rogan, David Ike, George Carlin (still alive!), Bill Hicks (really Alex Jones!) and Kevin Booth are behind this!

  2. Karl

    “Still, the best guess may be that it’s a probably a part of a glacier
    erratic, which is a glacier that differs in size or shape from the
    native rocks around it.” Uhhh, you mean a ‘boulder’ that differs in size and shape from the rocks around it?

  3. Randy Hitt

    Obviously this Big Bertha isn’t as awesome as whatever beat her ass and shut her down, or maybe they should just bring in Ben Affleck and Bruce willis?

    • iamaustinCG

      my first thought was that we need to bring in Harry Stamper and AJ, they can drill into anything.

  4. Mario Lawrence

    $80 million down the drain? Was their damage to the drill?
    To my understanding drills like this are modular in design. So if the bits on the front end are damage, they can be replaced without your entire investment being lost.
    More interested in the condition of the drill than I am whatever stopped it.