What If the 2016 Presidential Candidates Were Pro Wrestlers?

Marco Rubio = “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff

Paul Orndorff was one of the most physically gifted and talented wrestlers of all time. He debuted as a villain, assisting “Rowdy” Roddy Piper in his feud against Hulk Hogan, and going on to main event the first Wrestlemania. Following a loss in that match, Orndorff had a change of heart and soon formed an alliance with Hogan. However, Orndorff’s massive ego soon resurfaced as he turned on Hogan and challenged him for the WWE Title.

Marco Rubio has long been considered one of the most promising young politicians in the country. After serving as Speaker of the Florida House of Representatives and aligning himself with Jeb Bush, Rubio promoted himself as an outsider “Tea Party” candidate in order to win election to the Senate in 2010. For as much promise as Rubio once had, he has revealed himself to be nothing more than just another Republican. For example, though in 2013 he joined the drone filibuster by his fellow Tea Party wave beneficiary Rand Paul, he has more recently been extremely critical of Paul, revealing his Establishment tendencies, just as Orndorff did when he double-crossed Hogan.