What If the 2016 Presidential Candidates Were Pro Wrestlers?

Ted Cruz = “Macho Man” Randy Savage

One of the wildest figures in the history of the sport, the Macho Man was never low on energy. Known for his outlandish ring attires and explosive top-rope moves, Savage transcended the industry. A major part of Savage’s career was his complicated on again/off again relationship with Hogan. For example, the two went from uniting as the “Mega Powers” at Wrestlemania IV to facing off against one another a year later at Wrestlemania V.

Likewise, Ted Cruz has become one of the most fascinating people in all of American politics, sounding very libertarian at some moments and seemingly transforming into a typical neo-conservative the next. Just like Savage and Hogan, Cruz and Paul have had a tenuous partnership, as the two have consistently referred to one another as “friends,” yet have at times differed on policy and have begun subtle attacks as the election has drawn nearer. While Cruz does not wear bright sunglasses and robes like Savage did, he has easily shown himself to be one of the “flashiest” options in the 2016 race.