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by Brendon Berger

Dear reader,

I’m exasperated and simultaneously amused, bemused, and C-mused. It’s as though I’m a close friend of Sisyphus condemned to offer helpful advice for all eternity only to see him ignore it and heave that boulder up the hill one more time. I am Cicero in stereo; I’m forced to stand by and watch a republic I love hurtle toward the totalitarian abyss. Twice!

What am I ranting about? The Jackasses! Hmm, even as I write that, I feel it might demand clarification: the Democrats/progressives. In general, I am no fan of theirs, and I have yet to receive a Yule card from them so apparently the feelings are mutual. And yet, for roughly the 10,618th day running, I have failed to wake up in the land of the ideal scenario. This means they are going to have to play a big role in ending the reign of our new dear Caesar. And they just aren’t doing it right…they really aren’t.

I guess it’s more my fault for being surprised than it is theirs. I expected a different result from the absolutely predictable one of progressive obtuseness. Birds fly, fish swim, and progressives act in an irrational manner. Whether they are desperately sketching electoral Hail-Mary plays in the dirt or pitching world class hissy fits, our friends on the left will ensure 8 more years of…him…if they don’t…well…

I realize I’m not exactly exploring new territory here but it’s so stunning I don’t even think too much can be made of it. Broadly speaking, the twin revolvers our liberal friends are placing to the temples of American liberty are loaded with: 1) Breathtaking Self-Important Condescension (B.S.I.C.) and 2) An assumed air of Anthropological Detachment. It’s notable that aside from being perfect descriptors for a great hook up (*rimshot*), the two things are actually one in the same. But these articles need to be a certain length so we tackle them separately.  

Breathtaking condescension is the easier one to spot. Lena Dunham is master exemplar of the form but it certainly doesn’t stop with one self important ignoramus. It doesn’t matter if they are picketing in public or loudly scoffing through various mediums this is the progressive equivalent of a kicking leg in response to a rubber hammer. And of course, it’s not new but it’s reached fever pitch.  

The classic manifestation of B.S.I.C. is what I call the intellectual early off ramp. If you’ve ever heard a progressive begin a statement with “sorry but…” or end it with “…period” you know the phenomenon. It is what the name suggests, if reasoned discussion ending in a mutually satisfying outcome (note: not necessarily agreement) is a journey from A to Z then the progressive LOVES hitting exit ramp B. This is nothing short of an attempt to shutdown an argument before it can begin. Why should they have to argue their points? They are the correct ones by default.

The next step of course is the furious offensive, or COUNTER offensive as they see it. See, as the morally (and to their minds intellectually) superior being they see no reason to hold themselves to the same standard as they would anyone else. Challenge their view of orthodoxy in ANY way and expect a blistering rhetorical enfilade from holier than thou head shaking to the lowest and most vulgar of personal attacks. One law for thee, another for me.

Of course if there is one thing your average progressive loves as much as righteous indignation it’s feeling superior. And this brings us to our second point, the assumed air of anthropological detachment. The more noble minded folks on the left have seemingly groped their way to a point where they realize there is some sort of disconnect between them and the rest of the country. Rather than seizing this moment for a bit of self reflection they did what all egotists do. Assumed the problem lay with everyone else.

Confronted with an electoral ass kicking this group of progressives tries to take an intellectual view…while remaining condescending. It’s as though they are anthropologists studying some bizarre group of tribal village dwellers who have just done something completely new and unexpected. They have no venom for the those benighted and backward folks from the interior of the continent. Their attitude is mostly “forgive them for they know not what they do”.

It’s simply not possible that anyone might possibly have some sort of objection to the progressive world view. Or their borg-like tactics in attempting to impose it. No it’s simply of those who don’t know any better. They urge their fellow progressives to be patient with the halfwits, in the end they will see the light.

Somehow it is unfathomable to the progressive worldview that an outsider might grow tired of this formula: that their knee jerk assumption of intellectual and moral superiority in all things might grate on people; that perhaps those who disagree with them do not actually see themselves as knuckle dragging mouth breathers; that differences of opinion that are not simply obstructionism do exist!  

In deference to the many good people I know who happen to be Democrats, I will say not all progressives are like this. And certainly in the great interlocking Venn diagrams of the world there are those who dwell in the intersection between ‘bad people’ and ‘voted for hair job.’ But these voices of reason are being drowned out and I fear will be brushed aside. The American left is becoming a gigantic condescending juggernaut whose momentum is beyond the power of the well-meaning to arrest.

And this is hugely tragic. Because until I finally do wake up in the land of the ideal and we get a libertarian president I’m afraid the Democrats will be important in any opposition to Caesar. I would welcome their assistance were it not that they seem to have decided that fire itself makes the best fire retardant. If they can’t break the habit of disgusted tutting or head patting, and soon, we will end up with 8 more years of statism.  

…the worst part is that the guy that is the focus of all their anger is basically one of them with different packaging…