The Ex Girlfriend Political Spectrum Guide

Liberal Lizzy

“We are so privileged, let’s eat at McDonald’s instead of Olive Garden to slum with the people!”

She wasn’t “the stupid” girl in high school, she was the “pretty girl,” catch my drift? Without a working knowledge of where money comes from, what is really good for the environment, and why the Constitution matters, this is the girlfriend who jumped on every bandwagon you could imagine. This chick was fun and more laid back then Conservative Clair, but dear god does Liberal Lizzy complain how because of men the world is against her and how your existence is pulling her down. You shrug it off though, because you know Liberal Lizzy is the same girl that wore a skimpy dress to that bar you met her at, knowing she would get her free drinks. Sadly, Liberal Lizzy’s free spirit showed how free she really was when you found out she cheated on you, but it’s cool because she’s progressive and you were sick of her inability to balance a checkbook. Just when you think things couldn’t get worse then you flippant ex, you hit rock bottom and meet the next nightmare of your life…