Yes, Virginia, The Federal Government is the Real Santa Claus
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Yes, Virginia, The Federal Government is the Real Santa Claus

The Christmas season is a time of giving. Young children sit on Santa’s knee and provide him with a list of presents for under the tree. While it’s rewarding to see children happy with gifts, there is a dark downside to their expectations. Children grow up to be businessmen and women or social activists and…

Santa Claus: Who Needs Him?
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Santa Claus: Who Needs Him?

“My life is a lie! Somebody’s gotta get stabbed!” -Frank Reynolds, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Disclaimer 1: I do not have children. After you read this, you will probably say, “Thank God.”) When I was a child, my family took Christmas very seriously. Though we weren’t what you would call serious churchgoers, we went…

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Pete Buttigieg’s Not-So-Merry Christmas Tweet

On Christmas morning, Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg wished everyone a Merry Christmas in a politically loaded tweet. With over 9,000 comments, it was the gift that kept on giving.  The South Bend mayor said that he joined “millions around the world in celebrating the arrival of divinity on earth, who came into this world…

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The Five Worst Christmas Songs (And Scathing Rebuttals)

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus https://youtu.be/PITCmngiMfA Listen up kid, you could have starred in your own feel-good Original Hallmark Movie about saving your parents’ marriage on Christmas. Instead you wrote this ridiculous song. You could have tipped your father off without making a complete fool of him on the radio. I’m sure you’re sitting…

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How to Avoid the Dead-Weight Loss of Christmas

With the Christmas season again upon us, recall the old adage that holds that it is better to give than to receive. The problem, though, is that humans are such inveterate traders that we often feel compelled to reciprocate. But that often just turns into half-assed trading instead of true giving — the unilateral transfer…

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John Legend’s ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ Cover Features The Line ‘It’s Your Body, And Your Choice’

Mary Margaret Olohan  Singer John Legend will release a rendition of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” this Christmas featuring the line, “It’s your body, and your choice.” The musician spoke out about his upcoming Christmas releases in an interview with Vanity Fair, explaining that he has changed the lyrics in collaboration with actress and writer Natasha…

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The Swamp’s Christmas Surprise

Many officials in the United States government were surprised when they woke this morning to find coal in their Christmas stockings. The Libertarian Republic has received some leaks from the families and staff of some officials, representatives, and senators, including immediate reactions and comments. Rumor has it Lindsey Graham claimed, “This is a direct attack…

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Government Shutdown Won’t Stop NORAD’s Santa Tracker

Molly Prince on December 22, 2018 The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) will continue its more than 60-year-old tradition of tracking Santa Claus as he leaves the North Pole to deliver presents across the world. The twitter account for NORAD and the U.S. Northern Command announced Friday that Santa will be tracked on Christmas Eve…