Hot Or Not? We Rate The Top 2016 Hopeful’s Sex Appeal on a Scale of 1-10

Chris Christie: 5/10

Okay, he’s a little dumpy. Pork barrel candidate, perhaps? Expect tax cuts on everything except junk food?

His face suggests he might say something really dumb, like, We’re going to look back on [not extending the Patriot Act], and [Rand Paul] should be in front of hearings in front of Congress if there’s another attack. Oh, wait… that was a real quote. I guess the stupid is more than just appearance for our boy, Chris. I mean, blaming his clearly more attractive competitor Rand for the next terrorist attack? You need a Snickers, Chris.

Still, he has more swag than much of his competition. Sorta like an aggressive teddy bear, at least he isn’t boring.