Hot Or Not? We Rate The Top 2016 Hopeful’s Sex Appeal on a Scale of 1-10

Ted Cruz: 0/10

This poor guy always has a pretty constipated look on his face. Now, maybe he’s just tired, but those bushy, downturned eyebrows and pursed lips say either I’ve been toking the reefer or I’m very concerned about the future of this country should I be elected. Possibly I’m nervous for this country because I’ve been toking the reefer.

Maybe it’s his thick-headed insistence upon legislating morality, or maybe it’s his thick head, but something is a little off, even icky about Ted Cruz.

Ted. Nowhere on the Internet are you smiling. Nobody wants a Debby Downer for President.