Top 5 Ways Donald Trump is Still the Christian Choice

2)  Because in Mark 451:36 of the bible, Jesus clearly states, “If thou grabs her only in the pussy, it is not assault to do as thou wants”

Man, this list is not working out.

Okay… now before you get all pissed at me and claim I’m disrespecting the Bible here, realize that quote is Trump’s own words, and unlike Trump, I’ll probably at least say a few words of apology to God tonight for bringing him into this thing. If you’re offended at my writing this, how can you possibly justify voting for the man who actually said it to be our country’s representative to the world?

I’m desperately trying to keep on track with this list, but I’m struggling coming up with more reasons why you, as a Christian, should vote for Trump. Maybe because Trump is an old, angry white guy, and you can convince yourself that’s what God looks like? Eh… but that doesn’t really work for me, nor anyone else who doesn’t really get hung up on trying to picture what God looks like, but instead worries more about what truly is right and wrong in this complex world. And as far as I can tell, it seems like all Trump stands for is his own ego-driven, amoral, quest for power at the expense of all truth or respect of his fellow man. That isn’t what I understand God to want.

So now we’re stuck with a problem though, because we’ve still got to list our number one reason of why a Christian could feel morally compelled to vote for Trump. Oh wait, I’ve got it…