“Oh Sh*t, We’ve Got 23 Hours And 59 Minutes To Fill!”
Last night, Jon Stewart proceeded to demolish the past two weeks of the media’s coverage concerning the missing Malaysian plane, Flight 370.
Speculation on the missing flight by the CNN crew ranged far-and-wide, including a serious proposition that an interstellar black hole could be the culprit. The use of psychic investigators was suggested.
Fox News commentators’ speculation included Islamophobic warnings of an imminent terrorist attack and Geraldo Rivera simulating suffocation. Ed Schultz of MSNBC asserts the plane has been hijacked and is being hidden in an unknown location, possibly surrounded by thick jungle shrubbery.
BREAKING NEWS: recent evidence released indicates the plane…… crashed.
Reuters: “Citing groundbreaking satellite-data analysis by the British company Inmarsat, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak said that Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370, which vanished more than a fortnight ago while flying to Beijing from Kuala Lumpur, had crashed thousands of miles away in the southern Indian Ocean.”
