“I’ve Been Preparing My Whole Life For Something Like This” Says Man Nearly Hacked To Death By Girlfriend, Allegedly

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A man from Camas, WA woke up in the middle of the night to being stabbed by a samurai sword. He credits martial arts movies for saving his life, after he Wing Chun Do’d his way out of it.

Emily Javier called 911 after attacking her boyfriend in his sleep with the sword she had taped to the side of the bed. “He’s in there, I just stabbed him” Emily told the operator. Police arrived to find her boyfriend Alex Lovell with multiple stab wounds, and was originally listed in critical condition.

Emily believed her boyfriend Alex was cheating on him when she discovered the Tinder app on his phone, noticed scratches on his back and claims she found a red hair in the shower that didn’t belong to either of them. She bought the sword at the mall, and had it at the ready for him to fall asleep.

“I was trying to kill him for cheating,” she told the police. Previously that night she stated that Alex had been ignoring her. Alex stated that his video game regimen was simply too intense, and he couldn’t keep up with the affection that she was looking for.

“The attack took place in the early hours of Saturday, March 3. Javier allegedly waited until Lovell had fallen asleep, and then stabbed him with a samurai sword she had purchased at the mall a few days before. Lovell said he only survived thanks to his knowledge of Wing Chun — a Chinese martial art he told Buzzfeed he became “obsessed with” after watching the kung fu movie Ip Man.

“I’ve been indirectly preparing myself for this night my whole life,” he explained. “I didn’t freeze. The Wing Chun came out. I was able to stand on a knee that was just almost chopped in half and a foot that was hanging on by a thread,’ Lovell told Buzzfeed.”

Alex was able to convince Javier to stop the attack, after suffering slashes to his head, neck, torso and legs. Doctors were also able to save his fingers which were nearly cut all the way off. Alex had explained that the hair had belonged to one of the dogs. He also stated that he didn’t have any luck on Tinder, because he wasn’t tall.

“I’m not a model or 6’3”. Tall dudes slay Tinder. Everyone knows that.”

Bail for Emily Javier is set at $350,000.

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