Is Eating Three Meals A Day Racist?

Is Eating Three Meals A Day Racist?

By: Casey Bennett

Eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the three daily meals to which we are so accustomed, might actually be a sign of our deep-seated racism towards Native Americans.

Mother Jones senior editor Kiera Butler argues that eating three meals a day is racist because early European settlers imported their eating habits to America and viewed the eating habits of Native Americans as “uncivilized.”

Quoting historian and author Abigail Carroll, Butler writes:

“When European settlers got to America, they also imported their meal habits: a light meal—maybe cold mush and radishes—in the morning, a heavier, cooked one midday, and a third meal similar to the first one later in the day. They observed that the eating schedule of the native tribes was less rigid—the volume and timing of their eating varied with the seasons. Sometimes, when food was scarce, they fasted. The Europeans took this as ‘evidence that natives were uncivilized…'”

To remedy this, Butler suggests we “try” to “quit meals and fast intermittently instead,” which I might be tempted to do if I didn’t love eating so much.

What I am tempted to do, however, is educate the masses on other seemingly innocuous but decidedly racist things we do every day that could be triggering for racial minorities.

Ready? Let’s do this.

Putting milk or cream in your coffee
I know. You just don’t like the taste of black coffee, right? Wrong. Taste is merely the excuse for your putrid racism and hatred, which you dilute out of existence with a few tablespoons of white liquid. Drinking coffee with your breakfast? You’re practically a full-fledged member of the KKK.

Waving at a person of color
Have you ever waved at a person of color on the street, thinking you’re just being friendly and inviting? Think again. Waving is symbolic of oppression and superiority, which actually makes PoC feel threatened and intimidated. To avoid exercising your white privilege, you should allow PoC to wave first, which you should follow-up with an apology and trigger warning before waving back.

Applying to university 
If you apply to university as a white person, you could potentially be taking a spot away from an underprivileged person of color. Knowing this and applying anyway is a loud proclamation of racist intent, which you should be deeply ashamed of. To avoid depriving racial minorities of their right to an education, try e-mailing every PoC in the country and asking their permission to apply first.

Are you enlightened yet? I sure am.

Journey forth, my children, into post-racial America.

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  • Budthestud
    March 9, 2015, 1:51 am

    Multiculturalism is also racist in MANY ways. What is multiculturalism? Multiculturalism is people of different cultures coming together and sharing in each others culture. Firstly, this is racist by means of cultural appropriation, claiming a piece of another culture as your own and thereby not attributing it to that culture anymore or devaluing the meaning of that culture, for instance white people wearing native american headresses. Secondly, this is racist because close proximity to other races can cause catastrophic disease transfer (see European colonization of the americas, also ebola). Thirdly, multiculturalism is racist because it requires that people take time away from their own culture to celebrate others (aka cultural imperialism). Multiculturalism is really just one big shitty culture and not allowing multiculturalism allows many more niche cultures to flourish wherever they may.

    People who are for multiculturalism are not doing it for the benefit of individual cultures, but for the authoritarian advancement of the power of their own government. Governments of the past have been extremely racist, allowing slavery and outright discrimination against minority (or majority) races.

    I’ll say it again; MULTICULTURALISM IS RACIST!!!!!!! Checkmate Marxists.