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How to Have a Peaceful Divorce | 9 Steps

Whenever the word divorce is mentioned, people often misconceive it as a hateful process, involving tearing each other’s hearts out and leaving the other for the dead.  Even after having gone through many counseling sessions, the marriage still could not work. This does not mean that your lives are over. When separation is the last option available, there are several things that one needs to consider, putting in mind that you are not the only parties that will be affected in the breakup.

Remember the pain that the children will undergo, your family members, and break downs of long-term friendships with people who’ve been with you in good times and supported in bad times. Therefore the separating couples should come together amidst the differences and resolve to sort the entire process in a more amicable manner.

Taking all these factors into consideration, we can then analyze some crucial points that would help divorcing couples to have a peaceful separation as outlined below;

  1. Respecting each other

Having come to the conclusion that divorce is the only way out, treating your partner with respect can be difficult. This often becomes a challenge, especially in circumstances that are hard to bear, for instance, addiction to alcohol or infidelity. These often add more pain to the affected partner, and most times, you won’t care and will go for a lawyer who will help you win the divorce. With all this said and done, when going through the annulment process, it’s imperative to have a sign of respect to each other, this will not only quicken the process but will also create a calm atmosphere for the children.

  1. Consider having an uncontested divorce

An uncontested divorce is a circumstance whereby the couple come together and agree on a divorce settlement, on terms of child custody, assets, and financial obligations. This will not only lead to an affordable split-up but a peaceful and a quick one.

  1. Choose to use an online divorce method

When ending the marriage is all you can do, agree to go through the online divorce method.  This is an option for those going through an uncontested divorce, where couples come together, agree, and settle on any uncontentious issues surrounding them. They then proceed to fill out the divorce papers online. In this case, working without an attorney is an option. You will only need to research and get a reputable online divorce company that will guide you, step-by-step, through filling out the papers.

Once they are ready for submission, then they will advise you to submit them to the courts for the final decision by the judge.

Some of the advantages of online divorce are that it’s a quick process, inexpensive and convenient, and there is a 100% guarantee that the process will go through. It saves time and offers peace of mind.

  1. Let separation be the last resort

When going through struggles, at times, one is forced to make decisions that bring regrets later in life. This happens even in marriages, but before moving forward, think of other options that could lead to a better relationship, rather than ending your marriage that you have cultivated for years. Remember that the union is founded on love, not financial affairs. Face the challenges without fear and look for ways to make it come to pass. However, if, in this case, there is no light ahead even after exploring the possible solutions, then settle for separation.

  1. Prepare your mind that this will not be an easy process to sail through

The disconnect process is not a sweet affair. As soon as the process kicks off, remember there are a dozen issues that will come up and bring you down but stay focused on your goal. Plan for plan B and remember that new responsibilities are awaiting you.

Even when your ex becomes hard to cooperate with during the process, keep your head held high, and believe it will be possible. However, it’s wise to remember that desperate moments will be there, but the only option is to remain strong.

  1. Make the interests of your children the priority

Remember that, even in death, the family will remain; the interests of your children are critical. Choose to have a well-managed co-parenting affair. A mediator can step in and help you have a peaceful separation and maintain a close co-parenting relationship. For instance, agree who will be the custodial parent, how often the children will visit the other partner, or even how the ex will have visitation to maintain a good relationship with the kids.

It’s also essential to reassure the children that they are not the cause of your separation. This will build their confidence in you.

  1. Explore other divorce options

While some emotions lead people to settle for an expensive annulment process, it’s wise to be sober before making decisions related to how the marriage will come to an end. Other various options are cheaper and quicker to use such as;

  • Mediation – This is where a neutral third party, not necessarily an attorney will come in to help the separating couples resolve their disputes.
  • Arbitration – This is where, if the couple wishes to resolve their issues outside the court, a private judge comes in. It helps them to resolve the contentious issues and, once resolved, the arbitrator makes a ruling just like any other judge in court would do.
  1. Don’t blame each other

Now that the decision to separate has finally been realized, do not add more emotional distress, trying to blame each other why things happened the way that they happened. Focus on what is ahead and avoid adding insult to injury. This will only add resentment, shame, anxiety, and guilt which will not allow you to look forward to the single living ahead of you. When couples continue to blame each other, the sense of revenge sets in and, in most cases, becomes a painful affair. Therefore keep from blaming each other, agree on what will work out best, and avoid wasting time and money which would otherwise derail your plans.

  1. Get a trusted person who will stand with you during the entire annulment process

Ending a marriage is never a pleasant affair. As much as one is looking for peace, it’s always challenging. As you go through the process, you need to have someone close at hand to help you manage the stress that is already in place. Someone who you can share your adversities with and give you a shoulder to lean on. Ending a marriage is equivalent to death in a family, in terms of its emotional impact, and the pain can only be relieved by having someone who will help share such strenuous moments.

Talk to them and share what you are going through, and the pain will slowly settle and give you peace as you complete the process.

Finally, remember that there is life after separation. Life must continue no matter how much pain you went through. Taking this into consideration, propose to end the marriage peacefully, knowing that joy awaits ahead. It will never be easy to start cultivating peace after separating, but it’s imperative to start early enough and crown it once the process is over.