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Thomas Phippen

House Speaker Paul Ryan displayed his comedic charm at a charity dinner in New York City Thursday evening, poking fun at the press, and politicians like Democratic New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, former White House advisor Steve Bannon and of course, President Donald Trump.

As keynote speaker at the annual Al Smith dinner, which Trump attended as a candidate last October with Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, Ryan riffed on topics ranging from the president’s tweets to whether there are really conservatives in Hollywood.

Here are some of his best jokes.

  1. “Enough with the applause” Ryan said at the start of his remarks. “You sound like the cabinet when Donald Trump walks into the room.”
  2. “Patricia Heaton, she is a Hollywood Republican. Hollywood Republican — that is an oxymoron, which clearly was the word Rex Tillerson was looking for.”
  3. “I don’t think I’ve seen this many New York liberals, this many Wall Street CEOs in one room since my last visit to the White House.”
  4. “I know why Chuck [Schumer] has been so hard on President Trump. It’s not ideological — Chuck is just mad he lost his top donor.”
  5. “Look, Chuck is 66 years old which makes him part of the Democratic leadership youth movement.”
  6. “It’s been almost a year since November 8th, when countless shocked Americans broke into tears over the election results. But enough about but enough about the press.”
  7. “Wisconsin is a fantastic place to visit in the fall. Someone probably should have told Hillary Clinton that.”
  8. Speaking of Clinton, “I got a copy of her new book. This thing sums up politics perfectly. She took eight months, writing 10 hours a day to explain what happened in 512 pages. The president explained it in a tweet: #IWon”
  9. “The fact that you learn as speaker. I’m now second in line of succession since Steve Bannon has resigned.”
  10. “Every morning, I wake up in my office and scroll Twitter to see which tweets I will have to pretend that I didn’t see later.”
  11.  “Fun fact you learn as speaker. I’m now second in line of succession since Steve Bannon has resigned.”

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