1. Capitalists
Listen ladies, we ain’t saying you’re a golddigger. But even if you were, you’re going to want a libertarian for your boyfriend. We love money, and we’re totally happy with working hard to get it. You like money too? Get a libertarian boyfriend. There’s nothing hotter than getting it in on top of a pile of money.
2. Libertines.
Sweethearts on the streets, but bastards in bed. Libertarian men tend to eschew puritanical values of traditional sexual interactions. Libertarians boys are hardy, handsy, and hairy (if that’s your thing). Bearded, naked libertarian men with huge muscles climbing all over you… and your friend (if that’s your thing). We know how to deal if you like it rough. We know what to do if you like it soft. There’s nothing sexier than a man who turns on a little jazz, turns the lights down low, hands you your drink or drug of choice and says “Why don’t we get drunk and screw?”
Or he doesn’t ask, because that’s how you like it.
3. Guns & Self Defense
What’s hotter than a man with big guns? And we know how to use them. Men who know how to use a gun are incredibly hot. How would you feel if you saw your man teaching your son how to field strip a rifle, while teaching him the importance of “trigger control.” Wouldn’t that set your triggers off? Well you’re going to need a libertarian boyfriend first, before you get a libertarian husband to give you libertarian babies. So go get one. Ask on the first date… Not “Do you own a gun,” but: “How many guns do you have?” His response to that question will tell you whether you have a new libertarian boyfriend.
Also, you may not be hot on guns, but when someone’s breaking into your house, and your libertarian boyfriend grabs his gun and heads for the hallway, you’re going to think he looks 10x hotter than you’ve ever seen him. He probably also knows karate, or served in the military. Libertarian boys know how to protect their girlfriends, if necessary.
4. Security
Society could collapse at any moment, but your libertarian boyfriend don’t care. He don’t give a shit. He’s got 6 weeks of wet food, 12 weeks of dry, a backup hand-cranked generator, 1000 rounds of ammunition, guns, 6 weeks worth of wine and whiskey, and a bag of gold coins. If society ever had to start over, you want a libertarian boyfriend.
Or if society doesn’t collapse he’ll at least have a job, his own car, and his own place.
5. Self-reliant
He doesn’t need anyone… but he wants you. He’s perfectly capable of adapting to almost any circumstances life sends his way. He could be selfish with all his gold, guns, and whiskey, but he isn’t, he’s generous with his loved ones. He knows that like Sun Tsu taught, we lose friends the more we rely on them to sustain us. Be a lender, never a borrower. Don’t go into debt, or if you do pay it off immediately. Find ways to make additional income. Make backup plans. Save for the future. These are the traits of an independent libertarian boyfriend who don’t need no girl… but maybe he might actually need you and only you. Because you’ll be the one thing in his life that he needs.
6. Well-read
Libertarian boyfriends have books and can read for days. They love history, science, arts, philosophy. That means they’re well-read. There’s really nothing hotter than seeing your boyfriend sit out on the porch, hearing the sound of his pages turning. It’s turning you on just thinking about it. Boys with books. Hot.
7. They’re “liberal.”
Libertarian boyfriends put the “class” in “classical liberal.” Laissez-faire. As you wish, princess. Libertarian boyfriends are probably not going to judge you for your vices, in fact we’ll probably indulge in them ourselves. If you wanted a strong man with a soft heart, libertarian boyfriends are the way to go. Are you a bleeding-heart type? Get a libertarian boyfriend.