7 Everyday Problems You Wouldn’t Have In A Libertarian Republic

7. Being restricted from purchasing things with federal age requirements

I’m 20-years-old and I’m so confused. Why can I get married, have babies, smoke cigarettes, drive a car, go to war and kill people, but can’t have a damn margarita with my fish tacos on Tuesdays? Because statism, that’s why.

Libertarian republic, where are you? I need you.

And you know what these dumb federal regulations on the legal drinking age, for example, have incentivized? They’ve incentivized raging house parties for college students that aren’t old enough to be admitted into bars, where they’re binge drinking on spiked jungle juice that’s been made by some dumb fraternity pledge member inside a dirty 10-gallon Gatorade jug.

So thanks for that age restriction, feds, it’s really worked out in my favor.