By R. Brownell
#1. Trail of Tears
Andrew Jackson, the first Democrat to occupy the White House, really hated Native American Indians. Whether you were Choctaw, Chickasaw, Seminole, or Cherokee, Old Hickory was an equal opportunity hater. In order to make room for the massively expanding cotton market in the south, President Jackson signed the Indian Removal Act in 1830. This forced the existing Indian nations which resided in Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, and Tennessee, out of their homes in order to relocate 125,000 Indians to a section of land granted to them in Oklahoma. During the not so fun trip across the country, an estimated 4,000 people died in the process due to starvation and diseases such as Whooping Cough.
#2. The Civil War
The southern Democrats of the antebellum south loved very few things more than sweet tea and cotton, slavery happened to be one of those. Their actions ended up causing a terribly bloody war which caused the deaths of over 620,000 Americans, all so that plantation owners could have the right to force people to work and do whatever the hell they wanted.
#3. The Fed
Thanks to Woodrow Wilson feeling like he should do a little bit more to help the average American down on his luck, the Federal Reserve was created in order to ensure that the value of the US dollar would be safe in case of a financial collapse. What Wilson and his friends didn’t realize though was that by granting a private banking institution the power to manipulate the nation’s money, it could also cause hyperinflation. Recently the Fed was responsible for everyone’s favorite 2008 recession, where Wall Street executives and high level banks deemed too big to fail were bailed out on the tax payer’s dime. We can’t put all the blame on poor Woodrow though, after all, he isn’t the first American to be fooled by a bank.
#4. League of Nations
Another great Woodrow Wilson idea which would one day lead to the extremely efficient and helpful UN, was the League of Nations, which was established in 1914. The League was part of a plan to stabilize global relations after WWI by working together to protect the interests of the general market and strengthen diplomatic relationships. Instead, the League placed extremely harsh measures on the Germans, which were so severe to their economy and national security, they would end up choosing a certain Nazi leader to lead them out of austerity. The funny part of this was that during the process of how to fix Europe, Wilson didn’t even bother joining the very organization he devised.
#5. The New Deal
Contrary to what your high school textbook taught you, the New Deal actually didn’t lower unemployment. The main thing most academics fail to understand was that unemployment during the Great Depression didn’t drop below 20% until the US entered WWII, where the need for troops and manufacturers helped put thousands of Americans to work. The New Deal did manage to create a slew of bureaucracy we still deal with today.
#6. Detainment of Japanese citizens in WWII
Just leave it to FDR to know what was best for the country, one tactic he used to defend the US from foreign danger (a method Dick Cheney only dreamed of implementing after 9/11) was to detain 127,000 US citizens and place them in a long-term internment camps (totally not concentration camps). Why did the lion of liberalism do something so drastic? Because if you looked Japanese, sounded Japanese, or even had a Japanese cousin or last name, you were basically seen as a threat to national security. Why? Because why the hell not…
#7. Jim Crow Laws
Just because you can’t force or own a certain race of people to pick your cotton, raise your kids, or clean your house, that didn’t stop those pesky democrats from finding different ways to still remind black people how much they hated them. From 1890-1965, Blacks couldn’t have interracial marriages, attend non-Black schools, or sit in seats not designated for Blacks. There was a whole bunch of other crap like the ridiculous voting requirements and tests to register, but there was other stupid shit like if you were a white nurse at a hospital and a Black guy came in half dead crying for help, you were not required to provide him medical assistance.
#8. Common Core
As if No Child Left Behind didn’t leave enough children behind asking “what the F$#%?” the new Common Core math questions alone should really make you ask what world the Democrats in office really live in, because it can’t be the same one that the rest of us live in where no one will argue that 2+2=4. In Common freaking Core land, 2+2 can be whatever the Hell you want it to be.
#9. Obamacare
#10. Scandals that make reality TV embarrassed
Forget Kim Kardashian’s silicon ass and the fact that Bruce Jenner wants to be called Sara or something like that, Ted Kennedy straight up killed his secretary and got away with it! That’s the type of story you see on a rerun of Desperate Housewives, speaking of which, what would CNN be without “Bill Clinton sex scandal” on the news ticker every other week or crazy Uncle Joe looking like a clean-cut version of the old uncle from Duck Dynasty?