Supporters of each candidate thought their candidate won the GOP debate
by Joey Clark
[dropcap size=small]I[/dropcap]n a world divided by politics, two baby-faced Cubans and one orange billionaire battled for the votes and very souls of Republican primary voters in the GOP Presidential debate. Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, and Donald Trump shined bright like blood diamonds as they splattered the stage with their petty harangues and rhetorical broadsides. Each thrust and riposte invigorated the crowd, making the herd of assembled political hacky lackeys squeal like lobsters sinking into a boiling cauldron.
The notion that democracy is a sound form of governance was boiled alive last night before our very eyes — the mob’s jeers and cheers serving as a discordant requiem for American dignity. Having seen 10 of these primetime events over the past few months, I am confident in saying these are not debates; they are a deathbed tour for the republic. The American experiment is turning ugly. The good ship America is sinking under its own weight. As early 20th century U.S. Senator Claude Swanson used to tell newly elected colleagues in Congress, “When in doubt, do right,” but, “When the water rises to the second deck, put on a life-preserver and follow the rats.”
Tortured by a flood of stupidity and bad faith for so long, the democratic process has mutated its subjects, and the rats are looking to escape the lab. The time for reflection, humility, honesty, and doing what’s right is over. The time for exposing opponents, telling it like it is, and seizing power is upon us. There are only so many lifeboats, and there is only one presidential chair. Only one person will eventually serve as lord of the flies. Which rat should the American people follow to supposed safety?
Well, after watching the 10th GOP debate, supporters of each candidate thought their candidate won. It’s almost as if the opinions of these people — if not the people themselves — are part of some crappy, made up story.
“Marco Rubio is just so aspirational and proved he is the only one who can take on Trump. The obvious winner tonight” said a young, buxom staffer for the Rubio campaign.
“If you want a true conservative with a proven record,” said a Ted Cruz donor, “Senator Cruz showed he was the only real option tonight. He clearly won.”
“They just DONT [sic] get it. The establishment RINOS dont [sic] get it,” said a Donald Trump supporter on several Facebook comment sections. “Did you see him at the debate last night?? He crushed them down! Whatever Boys, Cruz and Rubio…”
“Gov. Kasich is the only person who can unite us,” said Medicaid worker John Smith of Ohio.
“Why doesn’t Ben Carson get more time?” asked a befuddled pastor backing Carson, “I’m starting to think the GOP may be racist like the Dumbocrats say. This nation needs to get back to GOD and common sense.”
You see, if you ask “the people” who won the debate, you will find what you usually find when “the people” are asked a question: incoherent division buzzing about the putrid air, masquerading as some sort of collective “wisdom.”
Of course, those who support Trump think he won the fight. Of course, those who back Rubio think he was the victor. Of course, those who push Cruz think he proved himself as the only true conservative savior left in the race. Even Ben Carson and John Kasich have their own followers singing victory songs.
But if you ask me who won the debate, I’d say we need a bigger fly swatter, a better rat trap.
Else, in this age of everyone getting a trophy, we will all lose together.
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