Preschool Class For Adult Hipsters to Fingerpaint and Have Nap Time Costs $900

By: Laura Meyers

Don’t tell me capitalism isn’t for everyone when a woman with a”nearly half a degree in Early Childhood Education” can earn a living by blogging, leading a skipping club, and teaching a “Preschool Mastermind” class where adult hipsters pretend to be 5-years-old again and pay up to $900 for a month of finger painting and glitter glue wars.

Michelle Joni or “Miss Joni” is 30-year-old woman living in Brooklyn, New York, who teaches the course out of her home and office space with an assistant, Candice Kilpatrick or “Miss CanCan” who is a former preschool teacher and has a Master’s degree in Education.

“I wanted to be a preschool teacher for many years, so that is what I originally went to college for!” Joni wrote. “But then I realized that career path meant being chained to a classroom and told that my butt can’t show… AT ALL. So I switched to Fashion Merchandising.”

During class, students will have show-and-tell, snack time, “a field trip, obviously,” make-believe time, educational lessons, and yes… nap time.

In order to be a part of the class, one must first apply:

“Please note, [applications] must be PRINTED and filled out BY HAND,” reads the application instructions. “Think markers, crayons, paint… perhaps this means a trip to the art store — ohh fun! Please read carefully (because this time around, you can read). Most importantly, HAVE FUN with it,” Joni says on her website.

The class costs anywhere from $333-$999. Copies of the application can be found online if you’re interested in enrolling today.

Note: Skinny jeans, unemployment, and permanent residency in your parents’ basement are not required prerequisites.