Nuns Resist Katy Perry’s Offer to Buy Convent

By R. “baby you’re a firework!” Brownell

Global celebrity and pop singer (beloved even by North Korean leader Kim Jong Un) recently decided to purchase a former convent outside Los Angeles for $14.5 million. An issue occurred when the sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary told Archbishop Jose Gomez that a local restaurant owner had already purchased the property for $15.5 million, along with the argument that the right to sell the property belonged to the sisters, not the Archbishop.

According to a recent article from the Los Angeles Times:

“… the sisters recently sold the land for $15.5 million to Hollister, before the archdiocese could complete its deal with Perry, which is now attempting to block the sale with legal action, and is having some success.”

Perry has attempted to quell the situation in hopes of creating a peaceful solution without a bloody legal dispute; recently Perry visited the property and the nuns in hopes of winning them over, even serenading to them the song “Oh Happy Day”, and sharing her devotion to Christ by showing them her Jesus tattoo.

The nuns, not impressed by Perry’s act of civility, are still planning on taking her and Gomez to court over the rights of the property, even though the Archdiocese spokeswoman came out and stated that “…We have already entered and accepted the offer from Miss Perry… The Archbishop has made a promise to care for the sisters, and we want to do what’s best for them”.  Sister Callahan, the nun’s legal spokesperson in the lawsuit, responded “God help us, we are going to fight this!”

Whether or not Perry will show the nun’s her roar, or withdraw from the purchase of the old convent will be seen in due time. The nuns should know by now when it comes to Perry, that this is how we do.