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Federal employees to receive free vibrators during the shutdown.

Posted by Austin Petersen • 07 Oct 2013

As if these people don’t get enough stimulus every day.

Vibrators.com is offering a giveaway of 200 vibrators a day to federal employees who are used to stimulus packages.

From their website: “Are you a federal employee that has been deemed non-essential? Do you have a little too much time on your hands and nothing to do? Is the recent government shutdown to blame? Here at Vibrators.com we are committed to allowing our customers to find satisfaction. As vibrator enthusiasts, we want everyone to experience the pleasure that a nice vibrator can bring to partners and individuals. Besides, we know you have some free time, why not try something new? Vibrators.com has been giving away this free vibrator for years as a bonus gift with customers’ orders and it receives great reviews. It is fairly powerful, quiet, and uses a single AA battery (not included). It is 5 inches long and 1 inch in diameter, a smaller vibe. It is emblazoned with the Vibrators.com logo on one side, so that you will forever remember our generosity.”

Well that’s kind. So you can get your kicks while you’re off duty and still promote capitalism at the same time. But really, if anything this shows us that most federal employees really are non-essential. So then…

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Of course, almost all federal employees are non-essential. But that’s not what this protestor apparently believed.

READ: Let’s shut down most of the federal government forever!

Looks like Vibrators.com is running out of supplies pretty quick. Their website today read:

We have reached our limit for today, Monday, October 7th. Our warehouse has the capacity to send about 200 free vibrators a day without delaying our other customers’ orders. Tomorrow is a new day though. Stop by around mid-day Tuesday and we will release another 200 vibrators for furloughed federal employees.

Of course, they may have forgotten what happens when you give a mouse a cookie. A burger joint learned that lesson the hard way the other day when they began to lose money like crazy after offering free burgers to furloughed employees…

READ: Burger joint learns hard way that gov’t employees like free stuff. 

 

 

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